Someone Willing to Stay

I'm Gone

This chapter contains scenes that may be triggering to any audience. If you find yourself uncomfortable at any time while reading this, please feel free to avoid reading. Love you all!
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"So are you here alone?"
I don't care about opinions. I don't care about impressing people. But the first thought that came to my mind when he asked that question was how absolutely lame I would look if I told him that my friends had ditched me.
"Yeah, Adam dropped me off." I tell him, taking another drink of my root beer.
He nods, "I see."
"Do your parents know about this party?" I ask.
      He chuckles, "Definitely not. They're out of town this weekend, and Angel needed a house to throw a party for his little bro. You know Mason right?"
     "I've seen him around." I lie.
      How do you explain your whole life to a stranger?
     It's silent for a few seconds and I take some more gulps of my soda nervously.
      I don't even know why Logan is talking to me. He knows me. He knows what Adam tells him. That I'm weird. A loser.
      Logan glances at my drink which nearly halfway gone.
      "It's only been five minutes." He laughs at me.
      "I was thirsty."
      "You don't want to spend the whole party in the kitchen do you?" Logan asks me with a raised eyebrow.
      If it were up to me, I wouldn't be here at all. I would like to avoid human contact as much as possible.
      "Kind of." I mumble.
"Oh come on."
His smile makes me queasy.
I watch as he stands up and walks around the counter to stand in front of me.
He holds out his hand.
I glance at it before looking back at him, "What's going on?"
Logan smiles, "Come dance with me."
I can hear the music. I can hear the laughter and thrilled shrieks from all over the house. And that's all I want do. Hear them. I don't want to take part. I don't want my dress to ride up my hair to move in the wrong position.
"I'm not good at dancing."
"Oh come on," he sighs, "it would be rude to decline an offer from the host of this awesome party."
He pauses and smiles. "Don't you think?"
When he mentions the fact that I'm blatantly disrespecting him, my fight or flight kicks in. I could continue to stand my ground, not knowing the possibilities of what he would do to me. Or I could agree, let him jump around with me for a few minutes, find Riley or Claire, and go home. The second option sounds the safest.
Reluctantly, I smile and take his hand.
"Awesome." He says.
He leads me out of the kitchen and everything is amplified. The sounds. The smells.
He leads me into the middle of the crowd and smiles down at me.
"I don't really know how to dance." I yell over the noise.
"Just jump around, come on Ni-Ni."
He leads and I follow his example.
Despite Adam's voice in my head, I'm having fun.
I'm smiling at Logan and he's laughing at my dumb dances that probably make no sense.
It's great for a while. Because I don't care for once.
It's nothing like me. I can feel all my worries just slipping away, all the thoughts of the bruises I'll wake up with are gone.
Because something is wrong.
My head feels muddled. My thoughts aren't clear.
I stop dancing grabbing onto Logan's shoulder for support.
"Hey, is everything okay?"
The lights are so bright, I have to squint my eyes.
All the voices are muddled. I can't hear anything.
"I don't feel so good." I mumble, stumbling away from Logan and falling into a group of people.
I feel hands grabbing at me.
"Let's get you upstairs."
"I need to go- Riley needs- where's my phone?"
"It's okay, Ni-Ni," he whispers in my ear.
I feel my legs walking with the help of his hand on my lower back.
Logan helps me up the stairs and into a bedroom.
     I don't know what's happening.
     I know I need to go home. I know that my body isn't working and my tongue feels heavy. My eyelids are drooping.
      When my back touched a soft surface I can't move. I can't roll over, I can't curl up. I don't even remember how I got on the bed.
     "What's happening?" My words come out slurred.
      "It's okay, just relax. You don't feel well."
      I don't feel anything. My vision is blurry and I can't see. Everything is messed up, I have no control.
     "Logan?"
     "You're okay. You want to feel better right?"
      I do want to feel better. Maybe he'll drive me home.
     God, what is happening? What is wrong with me?
     I close my eyes, it's too hard to keep them open.
     After a nap, I can go home. Just one nap and I'll feel better.
     "Ever since we were in the eighth grade, you've just been a tease."
     I can hear his voice but it sounds so far away.
     "Flaunting yourself in tight clothing but always hiding your skin. What did you think you were doing? God, I don't know how Adam could keep his hands off of you."
     I can feel something warm trailing down my side.
     I'm used to unwanted touch. But this makes me want to vomit.
     I can't do anything. I can't push it away. I can't push him away.
"Tonight, I finally get a taste."
I'm not scared until I feel his hand begin to pull up my dress.
I'm not scared that he'll hurt me. Because there's only one person I'm afraid of. And if Logan sees his artwork, I will have every reason in the world to be terrified.
"No." It comes out as a whisper.
I can't go any louder, or open my mouth any wider.
It feels like I'm in a dream. The kind of dream where I know what's happening, but no matter how fast I run, I'm not going anywhere. No matter how hard I try, I can't even move my pinky.
"You don't really have a choice." I hear his chuckle.
Adam's gonna kill you. He's gonna gut you if Logan sees.
Maybe I should worry more about what'll happen if he doesn't see.
And I do think about it. I think about his hands traveling farther and his lips trailing down my neck.
I want him off of me. I want to go home.
I can't move.
I feel powerless every single day of my life. But right now. I've never felt this weak.
"Everything is going to be-"
I don't get to hear the end of his sentence because suddenly there's a lot of yelling.
I feel Logan's warmth leave me, replaced by cold air hitting my thighs.
     I wonder where he went. I wonder how far my dress is pulled up, how many areas of discolored skin are available.
     "She was practically begging for it!"
     A loud thud and the voices stop.
     I try to open my eyes, but I can't.
     I'm tired.
     "Mel, hey, you're okay, you're okay." His voice sounds fragile. Like he doesn't believe the words anymore than I do.
     "You saved me from one monster, Mason." And then, I'm gone.