Someone Willing to Stay

Shattered

"Well he was angry, huh?" 

      Every part of my body is screaming in pain as I sit in Mason's car once again. My lungs are burning with every heaving breath, my ribs ache as I try to slouch. Running was a bad idea. Leaving my house was a bad idea. Mason is trouble. He's nothing but bad news.

     "We were almost arrested!" I yell.

     "Calm down, Mel, we didn't get caught."

     He's insane. It's the only explanation. I'm insane. Why else would I have gone to a closed park with a practical stranger at ten o'clock? I must have a death wish. If Adam had to come pick me up at the police station, I would be dead right now, being buried in the backyard.

     "I can't believe you."

     He laughs, "Live a little."

     "I live just fine on my own, thank you very much." I retort.

     "Name one thing you've done that could even be considered rebellious since I left."

     I pause.

     He's right. I haven't done anything. No skipping classes because the school would call home and mom wouldn't be the one there to answer the phone. No sneaking out because being grounded wasn't something I could look forward to. I haven't done anything that could even tamper with my invisible teenager persona because every rebellion I could take part in would all end with the same thing. Adam's smile and my screams.

     In fact, the only things I've ever done to break Adam's rules, have all been in the past week. Coming home late, going to parties, and now sneaking out with Mason, a person I'm not supposed to see. Mason is ruining my life. And if he keeps this up, he'll be ending it.

     "Just take me home please." It comes out as a whisper.

     He looks away from the road and frowns, "Mel, I was just teasing."

     "We are not friends. So stop teasing me, and joking with me," I seethe, "stop messing with my head and sneaking me out to parks. Stop trying to be my friend."

     This is new for me. I don't yell. I never yell. Yelling gets you bruises and scars, blood and pain. But I can't stop. It's like the words have been sitting on my tongue for years and now they're overflowing from my mouth.

     "You left me. You decided to stay away and never come back. And I'm not saying I blame you, because I would do just about anything to get away from me too, but you made your choice. And I don't understand why you would want to fix it, let alone why you're trying so hard."

    That was a little too much information. 

     He's your best friend, you can tell him anything.
     Were you not listening to any of that conversation?

     "Melanie, I didn't leave to get away from you." He says moments later.
     "Stop the car."
     "What?"
     "Stop the damn car!"

     The tires squeal on the road as Mason presses on the brakes. I slam back into my seat and wince at the pressure on my back.

     We're on the end of our street. As easy as it would be to just let Mason take me to his house so I could walk over to mine, I can't stand being alone with him a second longer.

     I stumble out of the car and slam the door.

     "We are literally four houses down from your place, Mel. You're being a child."

     "I'm being a child? No, I don't get to be a child. I've spent my whole life slaying monsters and shielding myself from demons, I'm not a child, and I've never been a child."

     He's driving slowly next to me as I walk with my arms crossed over my chest.
"We were eight! Why are you talking about imaginary monsters that we made up!" He asks exasperated.

      "They aren't imaginary for me!" The words echo across the sky, through houses and down streets. 

     I'm breathing heavily, standing in front of my house biting my lip as I hear Mason get out of the car and walk toward me.

      "Talk to me, Mel. Please. Let me help you."

"Damn it, Mason, you can't fix me. I'm not some used car that needs an oil change."

I'm standing at the edge of my driveway. If I take one step towards that house, then I go back to my life. The life I've had since Mason left. Since he abandoned me. 

If I turn around. If I take one second to look into his eyes. I don't think I'll be able to resist throwing myself in his arms.

"I'm shattered, Mason. Like a dusty vase that's been ignored for too long."

"You know the best thing about broken vases, Mel? You just need three things to make them whole."

I decide to go along with his speech.

"Faith, trust, and pixie dust?" I muse.

"Tape, glue, and someone willing to fix it. And I'm right here, Mel."

He's standing right behind me. He's here. All I've ever wanted, for almost ten years, is for him to just be here.

"You should've been here a long time ago." I whisper. 

And I take the step.

I'm far past saving. Mason can't help me. He doesn't know it yet, but he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to waste his time on fixing me when I'm too many different kinds of broken.

Beaten.
Battered.
Bruised.
Worthless.
You deserve everything you get.

I need to get inside before Adam realizes I broke his rules again and gets tired of me. I've just lost Mason again, and I can't lose him too. 

He's my family.

So I take another step, and another. Dragging my feet along the gravel, the pain on my back hurting worse than before. I don't know if it's from the shame or the exercise, probably both.
I keep taking steps until I reach my front door and I hear Mason start his car. 

It isn't until I'm in my bedroom with my door shut and locked that I take off my hoodie and look at my body.

I look at my body. I look at it hard. I see every imperfection given to me by the one person I thought would protect me. Back when I believed I deserved to be protected.

I look at my stomach, at the fingerprints on my arms, and the gashes on my back. 

And I cry.
Because I am shattered.
And there's no one here to fix me.

___________
I have a special surprise for you guys next chapter!!!
This chapter actually made me sad because Mason and Melanie were making so much progress! What do you think?
Let me know in the comments, when you guys vote and react to the chapters it keeps me motivated. Love you all!!