Someone Willing to Stay

Mistakes Can Be Forgiven

"Come on, you only turn seventeen once." Claire informs me as she searches through racks of clothing.
     Riley, who's on the other side of the display, nods, "Honestly, Ni-Ni, you can't dress homeless for your own party."
      "No one's even coming." I mumble.
      "Um, your mom invited Mason right? And we'll be there. Plus, David and Robert are coming."
      I look up at Claire quizzically and she shrugs, "Your mom told me to invite them. She doesn't want you to be lonely on your birthday either."
      I roll my eyes.
      Currently we're at the Mall at two o'clock on a Sunday. We left bright and early this morning sincere I told them mom wanted me home by four.
      I just figured, two days after the party, I should follow the rules as closely as possible. Adam was still on edge, and besides, avoiding Mason is top of my to do list. The sooner I get home, the less of a chance I have of running into him.
I know I'll have to see him on Monday, seventh period has become something I dread. And I'll practically have to spend the whole day with him on Friday, but I'm delaying it as much as possible.
Mom makes an extremely big deal out of my birthdays. If it was up to me, we wouldn't celebrate them at all. My birthday is just a painful reminder of what I've done. That's one of the reasons why she outs so much effort into them, she doesn't want me to feel guilty. Adam makes sure I do anyway.
      "I didn't even want a party in the first place."
      "You never do," Riley sighs, "just try to be happy about this one okay? This one thing."
She's desperate. Claire looks at me with a pout.
"Fine," I sigh, "I'll get excited."
      The both smile.
      "Good," Riley cheers, "Now try these on."
She holds up at least eight items and I sigh, knowing we're probably going to be here for another hour.
I take them from her and go to the dressing room, shutting the door and having the clothes on a hook.
All of the clothes are great. They fit me well, they're comfortable. They're something I wouldn't have cared about wearing in another life.
But six of them show exposed marks on my body, so I tell Riley that only two of them fit.
      "Can we stop now? We've been at this for like three hours, and as much as I love shopping, I'm starving." Claire moans as Riley tries to force me in the dressing room.
      I duck out of Riley's grasp and raise my hand, "I second that."
      Riley rolls here eyes, "Whatever." She grumbles, picking up the two shopping bags she's been carrying.
     She begrudgingly follows Claire and me out of the sixth store we've been to today.
      We make our way down to the food court.
      As we approach the escalator, all I can think of is Mason's hand in mine as we ran from the security guard. I remember he warmth of his hands, and the rush of adrenaline I felt.
      I shake my head to wipe the thought away.
I can't talk to Mason ever again. I can't even look at him. He might be encouraged to tell someone about what he saw, and that would be catastrophic.
For now, everything is at peace. I plan to keep it that way.
      We walk down to the food court and after arguing for ten minutes about which place to go to, we finally ended up getting a small pizza and sharing it.
      I sit across from Riley and Claire and grab a slice.
      Riley puts both of her elbows on the table grinning from ear to ear, "I have some exciting news."
     Claire and I look at each other with bored expressions.
     Riley's exciting news is never exciting. It's always about some video she saw or something new she posted on her fashion blog.
      "Let me guess, plaid is suddenly in this winter?" Claire asks with a mouthful of pizza.
     Riley scowls, "No."
    I sit up straight, "You finally got those fur boots you've been asking your mom for?"
     Riley rolls her eyes, "Not everything is about clothes."
     "Coming from you." Claire and I say simultaneously, busting into a fit of giggles.
      "Guys this is serious," Riley exclaims, causing Claire and me to stop, "I lost my virginity."
      Her voice drops to a whisper at the end.
      I drop my pizza onto the table. Claire drops her phone onto her slice of pizza.
      "What?" I yell, causing several other people to glance over at our table.
     "With David?" Claire shrieks.
     Riley nods with a huge grin, "At the lost party."
     "You lost your virginity at a high school party?"
     More people look over at us.
    Riley blushes, "Say it louder would you? It's not that big of a deal!"
     Claire gasps, "Not that night of a deal? You got deflowered before me! Even when I was in the closet I still thought I would lose mine before you."
     "Are you okay?" I ask suddenly.
I have to make sure she didn't feel scared and alone like I did on Friday night with Adam.
     "It was amazing," Riley gushes, "he was so gentle, and he would ask me if I was okay practically every five minutes. And that's not even the best part."
      "What could be better than losing your virginity to David?"
     "Being David's girlfriend." Riley smirks.
     I look at her a smile widely, "He finally asked you? That's great!"
Claire nods, "That's awesome Riles, I'm so happy for you."
"Thanks guys."
Claire sighs, "At least one of us is getting some. Danny won't even talk to me after Robert got all mad at the party."
"She'll come around." I assure her.
"Well what about you and Mason?" Riley asks and I tense up.
"Nothing is or ever has been going on between us. Besides we got into a fight on Friday and I said something that really hurt his feelings."
Even though I know Mason could ruin my life in a heartbeat, I feel horrible for talking about Dylan like that when I was yelling at him. He told me that in confidence I'm a horrible person for using that against him.
"So you made a mistake," Claire scoffs, "have you even seen the way his eyes light up when you walk in the room?"
"Or the way he smiles when you talk to him?"
"What are you saying?" I ask them.
Claire shrugs, "Mistakes can be forgiven. If he really cares about you, he'll hear you out and forgive you."
I let her words sink into my mind. All I can think about is how whenever I apologize to Adam, it's never enough.
Adam doesn't need to forgive you, you know he cares about you.
But what if- what if an apology is supposed to be enough? Just not enough for Adam?
Maybe there's only one really important sorry I need to give out, and it goes to the boy with the crooked smirk.
Mistakes can be forgiven.
Just maybe, for this one thing, you deserve to be forgiven.
I push the thought away. I'm over analyzing this. I deserve nothing.
I can't help but wonder why the thought had even come into my head in the first place.

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Y'all, Melanie do be questioning her worth in a good way though.
Ok a side note, go check out LexGos_  stories! They're so well written and creative!
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