from my head to my middle finger

07 addicted to screwing up

Frank had been impatiently waiting for Bob for hours, pacing around. He had already cleaned the entire apartment, taken a shower, and now he was just going crazy thinking about how to bring the news to his boyfriend.

They weren't the kind of couple to talk. About anything.

Their relationship was based purely on sex and addiction. Frank had never really asked him to move in with him, it just happened. And he was glad.

Despite everything, Bob was a good boyfriend. He always tended to Frank's needs, and even got him a job. He just wished he could be the kind of boyfriend to go on dates with sometimes. Talk until  two a.m. and watch movies together. He didn't even know what kind of movies Bob liked.

Suddenly, there was the sound of keys outside his door. He pretended he was watching a movie. 'Hey, babe,' he said, biting his nails, trying to hide his nervousness. 'How did it go?' He didn't ask that often because he was usually too stoned when Bob made it home. But not today.

'Awful,' Bob answered, throwing away his jacket on the couch, and getting closer to Frank to play with the hem of his boxers. 'They're not done with the tracks yet. It might take another week at least, and I'm done with them!'

Frank nodded, already getting hard from the way Bob was licking him. 'Can we talk?' he asked.

'About? What happened?' Bob sat up immediately. His scared expression made Frank feel horrible. He didn't want to hurt him.

'Nothing – I just like this. You know? Acting like a real couple.'

'Isn't that what we are?'

'Yes. But I mean this, asking about your day, talking about our lives, or whatever you want to talk about – going out to eat? I don't know.'

'You really want that?'

'I do.'

Bob leaned in to rest on Frank's chest, staring into his hazel eyes. 'You're not drunk?' Frank shook his head. 'You haven't had anything?'

'Nope.'

'That's good, I guess. I rarely see you like this.'

'I like it too.' There was a long heavy silence. Frank stroke Bob's hair, and then his hands ran through his face playfully. 'You know I love you, right? And I don't want you to think it's only intoxicated me saying that.'

'I know that's not the case.' He took Frank's hand in his, their fingers intertwined. 'This is nice.'

Frank knew he had to talk about Gerard, but he wasn't ready yet. 'You think we can just do couple stuff today?' he begged. 'Keep me distracted from drinking and everything, okay?'

'I like that.' So they cuddled in the couch, their clothes still on, watching Stranger Things. Bob planted kisses all over Frank's skin every few minutes, trying to get more intimate, but Frank would stop him. They walked to a burger joint a block away, wearing sweatpants and holding hands in public just to get fries and milkshakes. Back at home, they eat some leftover cake they had, talking more. 'We should do this more often,' Bob said.

Frank took a piece of cake and smeared it on Bob's face. 'I agree.' He licked it off his face, and then kissed him, cake still in his mouth. That led to them taking off their shirts, and Bob going down on him. Frank had never felt like this before. Having Bob sucking him while being sober, completely aware of how it felt, every sense awake. He didn't want to ruin it. When Bob was inside him, he was sure they had never been that intimate. With his arms around Bob's neck, pushing his hips up, panting into his mouth, he told him he loved him.