from my head to my middle finger

09 nice to see you again

Gerard woke up early that day.

Mikey would be coming over at eight to give him a ride to the rehab center where Frank was. It had been a week since he admitted himself, and he couldn't wait to see him again. As promised, Frank had called him every day. He'd mostly complain about the therapists, and the other patients, and Gerard noticed he sounded happier, but he also knew he was good at pretending.

The ride there, deep in the woods near the Canada border, was over two hours, in which Gerard wouldn't shut up, anxiously wondering if Frank still liked him, if the staff would let him see him since he wasn't related to him.

To his surprise, Frank had already added him to his list of visitors, so it was no big deal. Someone took him to the big common room in the back, which had the best view he'd ever seen of the woods and the mountains far ahead, and told him to sit at one of the tables and wait there.

Two minutes later, out of one of the door, Frank came out.

He was wearing a cardigan and tight jeans, which was weird to Gerard since he was usually naked or just boxers at home. And despite the smile on his face, Gerard noticed he didn't shine as usual.

Even at his lowest, when he was drunk and high as hell, Frank's sparkly personality would always be loud.

Today, he looked almost dead.

'Hey –,' Frank said, smiling.

Gerard knew how forced that smile was, and wonder how bad he was doing. 'Hey.'

There was a long silence, in which they couldn't even look at each other. Yet, Frank reached for Gerard's hand. 'I missed you,' Frank says, and Gerard notices tears rolling down. 'You have no idea –' and then he was crying on Gerard's shoulder.

'I missed you, too.'

When Frank has finally calmed down, Gerard takes his hand again and tries to change the subject. 'It's a nice place. I didn't know you could afford this.'

'I can't. My former boss paid it. He said he was worried about me. This is where they send the A-list celebrities.'

'Wow! So you're a big deal now?' Frank smiled, and that was enough for Gerard. He would do anything and everything to make Frank smile. 'So tell me – what have you done while in here? You have friends?'

'Are you fucking serious? You know I hate it here!' Gerard noticed Frank staring at his lips the whole time. 'Besides, I'm mostly having all these side effects because of the detox, and I feel horrible, so I can't really enjoy anything.'

'But it's working?'

'If by working, you mean I feel like shit, then yeah.' He paused for a second. 'But I've started writing again. That helps a little.'

'I'm glad. Will you let me read one day?'

'Maybe?'

Frank convinced the staff to let them take a walk around the backyard, to show Gerard the dogs and the pond. 'You guys have dogs?! You should be so excited!'

'That's literally the only good thing about this place.' The facility had their own dog kennel, which served as therapy for the patients, and Frank mentioned that's where he spent most of his time. They sat there, surrounded by dogs, and Gerard told him about the new comic he was working on. 'I might be able to get some advance copies in the next weeks. I'll make sure you get the first one,' he told Frank.

'For real?' There was a long pause.

They left the kennel to walk around the backyard, which was miles and miles of forest, and Frank took Gerard's hand in his, as if it was the most natural thing. Gerard chose not to say anything, afraid of the reaction he might have, and well, he liked it too.

They talked about Mikey, and the TV show reruns Frank had been watching while in there. Gerard told him he had brought some books for him that he left upstairs. 'Thanks! That's the best thing you could ever tell me!' Frank said. 'I finished all of mine, and I don't like their selection.'

They sat by the pond, not saying anything, just throwing rocks like two six-year-olds.

'How much longer are you staying here?' Gerard asked once inside. Visiting hours were almost over, and he would have to leave at any moment.

'I don't know. Two weeks maybe. It depends on what the therapist thinks.'

'What matters is that you get better.'

Frank nodded. 'Can you promise me something?' Gerard looked up. 'That you'll be there when I go out? That you'll be there for me, and give me a chance?' Gerard was confused about what he was talking about but then Frank was leaning in and kissing him.

It wasn't hard to guess.

The kiss was short, and with closed lips. Yet, it sent electricity through his entire body, and he knew it was too late. He had already fallen for Frank.

'I'll always be there for you,' Gerard said. 'Always.'

'You know what I mean.' Gerard hesitated to give an answer, so Frank continued. 'Please. I need to know you're waiting for me outside, that there's something good waiting for me to not give up.'

He knew they both needed a lot of time to work on themselves before they could consider getting together. They were both broken in their own way, and though it was clear they both liked each other, it wasn't the best idea when they still had a lot to work on. But if that was what he needed to get better, then he'll give him that. 'I promise.'

Frank couldn't help crying happy tears, throwing himself at Gerard and hugging him. 'Thanks for being in my life.'