LUMOS | 1 | [ON HOLD]

the name snape

Things were not going well for Sirius. At all. Every day at home he would receive beatings for as little as coming out of his room without asking or waking up after 6am. His father kept telling him it was his mother's way of "shaping him".

And every night, when everyone had gone to bed. Sirius would walk down to the guest room - tears in his eyes to Marco, their personal driver and butler.

Here, he would comfort him when he had cried and cleaned up all of his wounds,talking to him in a quite, calming voice.

Sirius liked Marco - He was very kind and well presented despite his poverty. The Blacks didn't pay him much. About three sickles a month. But, they did reply him with a bathroom, a bed and two meals a day - breakfast and dinner.

This was his daily rouine;

-wake up at 4am for breakfast.
-start house work at 4:30am
-6am - 4pm doing the jobs they assigned him like driving them places, inviting guests over etc etc.
-5pm - make dinner for the family.
-6pm - serve
-7 - 10 pm - more housework
- 11pm - make sure everyone was in bed.
-11:30pm - 1am - talking and helping Sirius.
-1:45 - sleep.

Yeah, the poor guy worked six days a week on like two hours of sleep! He got sundays 'free'.

On sundays, all he had to do was to water all the plants at noon and finish when he had watered them all, which was usually 1pm considering how big their court yard was. It was unfair labour and Sirius wished he could change it.

They mainly talked about Sirius. And that's what had led him to finding out one of Marco's secrets.

He had never mentioned any type of family or friends or even what he had done as a child. He was basically bound to the Blacks with no choice. God, Sirius didn't even know his last name!

"Marco?" Sirius had said one cloudy night, it was the fourth day into the holidays and he was quite badly beaten.

"Yeah Sirius?" He chimed back, he had just put one of the alcohol pads he had used IN Sirius in the bin. He had cleaned a nasty gash his mother had given him on his head, he pitied the poor boy.

"What's your last name..." He asked curiously.

" Snape, " He said, and to which Sirius gasped. This couldn't be true! Marco couldn't be related to that greasy git! He was poor but he wasn't greasy or mean or even ugly at all! This was impossible!

Sirius made a disgusted noise but then quickly apologised. Marco laughed, "it's alright...never a fan of my family....Severus' father is my brother by the way, god I hate the little brat," He too made a disgusted noise.

They both laughed, although Sirius winced after - the cut on his head still stung quite a bit, even when cleaned and covered.

"Anyways...you best be getting off to bed young man, it's well gone midnight and your parents seemed to have given you a lot of chores tomorrow," Marco frowned. Sirius sighed and bed him goodbye.

He then quickly and quietly left the Room in the basement they had been hiding in and then tip toed his way back into his room. God, he just hoped that this holiday didn't get any worse!

***

Meanwhile, things were going much smoother at the Evans'. Currently, Remus and Lily were having a midnight feast/conversation.  They were laughing and eating slices of chocolate cake - talking about Lily's passed crush on him and when he kissed her.

"Honestly Lils, no offence, but I only did it because I felt sorry for you!" Remus laughed and Lily did too, yeah, she didn't like him anymore. She had realised he liked boys and decided it was best to let him go.

He had his good qualities but they were too similar to enjoy each others company all time time. And she wouldn't risk their friendship for a month long relationship that would be a joke in the future.

The pair laughed and continued to eat for a while after that. Light and passion and excitement flaring in their eyes. It seemed almost magical (hehe) how free they felt in that moment. Alone and in control of themselves ; no worries and nobody telling them what to do.

This was what was good about being a kid. Usually, you were given no expectations and were free to be you. Anything you got wrong could be blamed on how young you were. It was so calm and simple, being young.

As you grow older, you gain many many memories. They could be good and bad. But all your experiences and influences from people you have seen or heard of contaminate with you and shape you into the person you are today.

Really, you are mix of things you love and hate. That's why some people tend to not like themselves.

You aren't wrong in any way. You aren't any of the negative labels you give yourself - your just not your own type. If you knew you, then you might not want to be involved with yourself and that's ok! It perfectly normal to be aware of your flaws.

But it's much harder for many children to understand the self love process. And so, moments like these - away and free from growing expectations were some of the best moments we have as children. And believe it or not we will grow into our own shoes and learn to loved ourselves.

If we choose to keep fighting.Small events like these can help the battle. So we keep them nice and safe and remember them - for the good times and the bad. This just how it is really, we will never fully be in control.

note: this is so late and trash, I'm sorry!