"it's been a while since you looked so lost in someone... Maybe five minutes?"
"I feel like I am cheating on Wooyoung every time I get close to San.."
.
.
The only thing I am guilty of, is that their love made me feel like a pendulum, going to b...
Recovery's initial week made me want to burn down San's house with the everlasting blue flames of rage; Yet hesitation ceased my wrath because of the danger this act could propulse on me. 'ganging up like thugs on me today, who knows what could be next; guns?'
The pace of time went inversely proportional to the height of my indignation. I wouldn't hesitate to say I was scared because I had no one backing me up unlike San who had his 'loyal' goons.
Although Wooyoung's words provided me with an ample amount of courage; In this span of fourteen days, he neither approached me, nor tried to.
'Maybe because he neither knew my number nor my residence.', I had to blame myself as I inhabited with my solitude.
×××
Two weeks later I returned to the uni planning to avoid San at all costs. Recovering alone made me dull, or let's say, even more dull than before, But this sight approaching me; It had the ability to revive my lost energy and compensate for my reduced platelets, yes. Jung wooyoung was pacing towards me and we were just one leap away from a hug.
'I was about to show my feelings for this man rn', I stopped myself from running with the same pace into his arms.
From experience, I had understood a notion that After developing a crush on someone, things are never the same as when you were only friends, and especially me, a girl who keeps a lot to herself, was scared of being rejected so much, that i tend to keep secrets; even from myself. You can say I was afraid; afraid of losing my only friend.
'What if he is just treating me as he treats every other girl. He sure is sweet to every girl around.' , he has a cheering squad i remember. 'so what if he just enjoys popularity rather than stagnance? I've heard of him being with girls from time to time.'
I gave up before even starting. There was only one thing I were sure of in the moment,
I needed to avoid San with my whole being.
'TIT FOR TAT, I kicked him with the power I have, and he used the power he had; case closed', I was being impartial to my own self forgetting about the unjust inequality between the attacks, I kept telling myself so.
° ° ° Wooyoung stuck to me for whole day, like a caramel candy bar sticks to the molars. He didn't even let people bump into me.
'This protective barrier doesn't suit me but why do I still fancy it', I wondered as wooyoung made signalled me to sit on one of the cafeteria chairs and went into a fully packed line to buy food for me. 'This man who doesn't even pick up a pencil fallen from his desk.. is going into the crowded line to buy food for me, am I that special for him', i kept fantasizing my sweet teen daydream until my eyes landed upon a figure fearlessly walking towards the cafteria with his usual snobnyness. He was merely rumbling towards the front of the line, without anyone having the courage to stop him.
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It was until a voice called,
"Are you blind, or have your legs given way to stand in the line? Or maybe you're just a coward who stabs in the back!"
Wooyoung was abominated by the fact that San, being the monster he is, was the perfect hypotheses of being the prime suspect of my condition.
I sensed the intense moment of heat, and scurried away from the cafeteria inconspicuously as my weak, trembling legs paced towards the rooftop staircase, out to the dark noon with rain laden clouds and light winds. I felt emotionless as my throat began to dry... , or let's admit it; I was scared.
Scared not to be beat up again, but the events of that day reminded me of the fact that Choi San was not to be messed with. By this time, I already lost my appetite but the heavy breeze kinda soothed my heart which I got to know, wasn't so brave after all.
The door slammed with a loud noise several times, it must've been the wind since I left it open, but after several minutes, I heard a voice,
"y/n?
Y/n are you here? They said you ran towards here...".
"erm.. Yeah.. I'm here", I said, kinda embarrassed. It was him.
Wooyoung sighed with relief and hurried to me. After suppressing his panting breaths, he held both my hands in his and said,
"I know you don't feel like being in the crowd right now... but please tell me before leaving. I was really worried sick back there.
Especially San, whenever that brat is around, I feel worried about you... To think that he could've been the one to hurt you in such a cowardly manner and yet have the audacity to show up, annoys the shit out of me. "
I only gave a small smile to him and replied, "It didn't hurt too bad, I'm just uncomfortable with him around, just that I felt..... Scared.... and ran here. It didn't hurt much, only that, I never imagined he could be a literal monster", wooyoung saw the despair in my eyes and without saying another word, he gave me a warm hug.
I never felt this loved in my crazy volatile life.
His phone ran again, and being secretive about his phone as always, he apologized to be excused for the day, "shit... something in my family urgently came up, I need to go somewhere. I'm really sorry...",
"it's totally fine Wooyoung, it's not like you're responsible for me haha, I'm a grown person, don't worry about me", I interrupted his endless apologies.
"haha, okay but be careful y/n, and avoid that brat San at all costs", he hurriedly got up to leave.
° ° °
Now that I was alone, I could hear the wind getting quieter and in those mild heavenly sounds, I heard the annoying sound of a straw sipping some emptied fluid in a carton.
"What a nice family drama... Why don't you both work on a film.. Or better, why don't you find a more secretive place to diss me with your one sided useless crush guy".
I gasped at this sudden remark, but was familiar with this raspy, unbothered voice which sent chills down my spine. "So this butt was eavesdropping", I mumbled loud enough for him to hear.
"not interested, but your hot topic was me... How could I leave?", San chuckled.
Atleast now he knows, that I know it was him, I thought to myself.
"Heard you got your ass beat up". This man's arrogance annoyed me to the bits of my patience as I firmly stood up to leave. San lay there, pouting with a doubting face which turned to a guilty one as soon as I left.
