The Two of Us : woosan X Reader

Not Your toy

....

It didn't take me long enough to fathom why my reflexes worked against San's passionate act.

"I think I need to go...", I said, hurriedly fumbling towards my bathrobe and putting it on while moving out of the intimate space, without taking a glance at San's face.

"It's Wooyoung, isn't it? The reason you cant... ", a low shaky voice, I heard, which was cut by my justification,
"No. I just need some time... to think",... Did i ever tell you I am a bad liar?

He was sitting still in the tub, facing the wall, hiding his erupting emotions as I found it easier to leave without another word.

...

Rain poured hard on me as my instincts led me to the hotel where Wooyoung was supposed to meet me by accident just like how it should've happened in a cinematic parallel; But seldom does it happen in reality and contrary to my prediction, he was nowhere to be found.

I felt as if I was cheating on Wooyoung every time I got too close to San;
But why? It was not him holding on to me, nor was I worthy enough to warn his love or him.

He somehow kept giving me hope which made me like a hanging pendulum, going to both extremes but resting at none.

The avalanche of this sudden thought-shower gifted some numb sensation to my brain which couldn't figure out my wayward path towards the sea walking upon a comforting dry and moist sand patch consecutively.

It happened when I was knee deep in water when I heard a voice call for me.
Along the heart soothing low wave sounds across a humongous body of water which was thankfully low tide, a state where a noise can travel any distance yet not the ears of a person lost in a trance.

"This is the perfect time to have this haven to your self...
but not a perfect time to take a dip, eh?", the voice grew nearer as i walked away from the sham-like bridge of thoughts I was walking upon.

"I would take a dive too, but the tide seems to be rising, and I don't wanna give in my last breath to foolishness", the voice became recognizable as I rushed to make sure it was him so as to stumble upon reaching the sand.

"whoa, it's you? Were you tryna drown or something?", he had some super concern in his voice.

"No, I was just in deep thoughts I.. didn't see where u was going.", I maniacally explained before presenting my long monologue ahead.

"you were just in deep waters, Miss", he mocked at my justification.

There was no way someone could convince me that this man didn't give a shit about me.
"I've been looking for you everywhere!", I stated.

"but... I... I thought you were happy", his voice had a tint of remorse.

"I was happy because I didn't care", I cried.
.
.
.
We came as close as to remove any spaces between us, my eyes closed, as if the breeze was carrying my trail of thoughts, which had suddenly halted.

The intimacy which I had desired with Wooyoung was right in front of my closed eyes.
'was there a moment when I wanted something this bad?', I questioned myself as I held onto his body with my head tilted backwards to reach his lips.

My little euphoria suddenly tattered into shambles when he carefully but jerkred me away from his torso, gasping for a breath of cool air before mustering up the courage to say:

"I can't do this",
"I mean I really want to, but I'm not able to, I don't feel like kissing you"

"no matter how many times I try, I feel the same"
..

"I feel like I need you yet I do not desire this intimacy"

"what the fuck is wrong with me?
I do not know either", "so please don't ask anymore further".

Having conveyed his own long monologue, he left me grasping for words to express how I was supposed to react.
The only thing that automatically came to my tongue was on my lips,

"It's because boys like you don't wanna stop at one girl. It feels what do you guys say?
Caged;

Yes, caged to be committed to someone right?"

"What you don't realize is that you're playing with the hearts of all the girls you're trying to keep"

"you're so selfish!", were my last words he heard before the sea waves made sure he doesn't hear anymore of it.

With tears in my eyes, I left the place.
And him, for one last time.

.
.
Now I had to tell San about how big of an idiot am I for choosing Wooyoung over him and how it was my mistake i never reciprocated his feelings.

But unlike how it should be, I kept calling San while he kept declining my calls.
So I really fucked up this time.
I kept calling him regardless of his mood until he finally picked up his phone.

"HELLO.. SAN.. I-"

"no Y/n.... No", and the line went dead.

Never had I felt so heartbroken in my life. All the pain in the world could just not be compared with the one a single word from his mouth gave me.
'No'... Does it mean I'm too late?
I kept walking along the parallel of the coast without a place to go for god knows how many hours.
Burdened by my thoughts, I even cried a few times thinking how could I turn things back just to how they were this morning.

Not a single soul was visible on the sandy shores, it was just me and the waves gently washing off the surface of the earth, kissing it at every contact.
The moonless, dull night couldn't have made it worse but it did make my solo walk lonelier and more gloomy than it ever could be.

And it occurred to me...
I need to find San.

.
.