Loving You Out Loud: JJK

Chapter 1

"Just don't touch me. Please" I pulled Jungkook's hand away from my waist and wrapped my arms around myself. "If you're going to leave then do it. It's not like I'm not used to it already" I lied. We had been dating in secret for about a year, but somehow, I haven't really gotten used to him leaving for weeks on end.

"You know I have to go." A heavy exhausted breath left his body with a sigh " I don't want to, but I have to." Jungkook ran his hand through my hair as he tucked it behind my ear "If you want me to, I can fly you out to spend a couple of days with me." He began to press gentle kisses on my cheek that eventually deepened as they trailed down to my neck and collarbone "How does dinner with a view of the eiffel tower sound?" He flicked his tongue against the sensitive area under my ear "Or a romantic gondola ride in Venice?"

"It sounds great for the girl who can actually be seen with you in public."  I placed my hands flat against his chest to push away from him. Within the last year big hit has allowed the boys to date publicly under the stipulation that the girls that they date fit the ideal standards of Korean society, which I do not. I'm a foreigner which would be somewhat acceptable if I were a size 0 but I'm not. "I prefer you stop saying things like that. No use in giving a girl false hope. You know." I pulled away and  walked over to our bed where I know I'll spend many sleepless nights alone and in tears.

Jungkook's Pov

"Y/n" I couldn't help but feel guilty for making false promises to her. I love her so much and can't seem to let go even though I know I'm hurting her.
It seemed like as soon as the boys and I were given the chance to date publicly things got worse. At least before, it was normal for us to keep things private, all of the guys had their private relationships that were kept hush from the public eye. Yeah, that came with it's own difficulties but it was understandable.

When we found out that we were the only ones denied to go public, Y/n got really depressed and stopped eating for a week. The once confident vivacious  women I loved grew insecure and fragile before my eyes. My attempts to show her how beautiful she is and how much I love her seemed to go unnoticed. Even thought I knew my lifestyle is hurting her, I can't bare to give her up.

I crawled onto the bed and wrapped my arms around her shape and ran my hand along her thighs. If only she knew how much I adore her tan skin and thick thighs, how I love to run my hand through her curly hair and kiss her pillowy cheeks to no end. I wish she knew how much I worshipped everything about her.

"You know I'm madly in love with you right" I nuzzled my nose against hers and kiss her forehead to which she responded with a soft nod.

I leaned down to kiss her and hooked my arms around her plush thigh pulling her on top of me "more than anything in this world"

She giggled and covered her face in embarrassment.

Y/n's Pov

I couldn't help but smile when he pulled me on top of him. Jungkook has this way of making me smile even when thoughts of insecurity run rampant in my mind. I knew  he was worried about me. He has been ever since big hit first allowed the boys to be in relationships. I have to admit it hit me hard when we weren't given approval to date.
It's not like I wanted the notoriety that came with being Jungkook's girlfriend, I never wanted to become famous. I just wanted to be able to spend the day with the man that I loved without feeling like a dirty secret. I saw how happy the rest of the guys were being able to take their significant others on dates or on tour with them and couldn't  help but feel hurt that I wasnt good enough to have that.

The feeling of Jungkook's hand trailing along the skin of my thighs distracted me from my thoughts. I felt his hand begin to lift my shirt  "Jungkook baby stop I'm not ready. I'm sorry"

Jungkook's Pov

It had been about two months since Y/n has let me see her naked body. She barely let me touch her which is quite upsetting, especially when I think of how amazing and open our sex life was before. Every morning I would wake up to see her naked body spread across mine as she cuddled me tightly. Nowadays, she's covered head to toe and lingers on the other side of the bed afraid to touch me.

I couldn't  help but pout. "Baby it's been so long since we've- you know" I kneaded and gripped her thighs as I rocked her against my lap. "Let me take care of you." My hand trailed up her shirt again "All of you"

I can tell my soft touches were affecting her as her eyes began to fall shut and her lips separated producing shallow breaths.
Just as things began to escalate my phone rang, interrupting the moment. She shuffled off of my lap and moved to the other side of the bed.

Y/n's Pov

It was his driver calling him telling him that he had come to take him to the airport.
God I'm so frustrated, I'm not the only one. The bulge in Jungkook's pants was quite apparent and as much as I wanted to end this dry spell, now wasn't the time.
I got up and kissed the pouting man goodbye expressing my love for him and how much I'd miss him. Before I know it, I was left in our penthouse appartment, alone.