Loving You Out Loud: JJK

Chapter 15

Y/ns Pov

Silent. The car ride to the studio could only be described as silent and cold. Never in my life had I felt so uncomfortable. From the moment we left the conference room, Jungkook hadn't uttered a single word to me. In fact, he didn't dare to look in my direction either. Unable to bare with the uncomfortable silence, I decided to fall asleep.

"Ma'am?" I was awoken from my respite by the drivers voice. "We're hear"

I looked over to see that Jungkook was no longer in the car with me. He left me.
"T-thank you"

I exited the car and made my way to the studio that had become a second home to me due to the countless hours spent with Jungkook and the boys here. I sat on the couch that overlooked the large recording booth where Jungkook, Jin, Taehyung and Jimin stood waiting a queue from their producer to begin singing in harmony.

"The princess has finally graced us with her presence." Yoongi said as he plopped down on the seat next to me. "When Kook walked in without you I thought you decided not to come."

I shrugged, brushed off the comment, and quickly changed the subject "How long have you been here? You look like shit Yoongles"

Yoongi laughed and ran his fingers through his thick raven hair "Since 2 am. I had a beat in my head and I wanted to record it before I lost it."

"Mhmm" I nodded "When are Joonie and Hobi coming? Usually they're here before Jimin Kookie and Tae even wake up"

"They should be here soon. They had a double date for brunch. Luna has been feeling a bit down lately so Namjoon thought that spending time with her and having breakfast with the sun incarnate would help brighten her mood."

I giggled and nodded slightly. "Hoseok is the antidote for all sadness"

"Well you got that damn right!" I look over to see the ball of sunshine himself.

"Hobi!" I squealed and jumped into his arms. I didn't really get the chance to see him during the concert so it's been a while. "Where are my unnie's?"

"They decided to have a spa day. They didn't want to be cooped up in the studio all day."

"Ehh-emm" Namjoon cleared his throat "Am I just chopped cheese over here? Can I get a hug? A hello? Even a nod will do, god damn!"

I nodded at him and gave my attention back to Hoseok. I don't think I've ever seen the tall man pout like that before "I'm just kidding" I chuckled and went to hug Namjoon. "By the way you definitely need to work on your ageyo" To which he responded by sticking his tongue out to me in a childlike manner.

We sat around the studio joyfully conversing and making up for lost time.  After a while, it was time for the rap line to head into the studio and record their parts of the song.  I greeted the vocal line warmly and proceeded to catch up with them, just like I did with the rap line. During this time, Jungkook refused to acknowledge my existence. Jin, who sensed the tension in the small room, decided to lighten the mood with a couple of jokes.

"Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay?"

"I don't know. Why Jinnie?" I tried to sound somewhat lighthearted and happy. I don't like showing people when I'm upset. I don't want to burden them with my problems

"He didn't want to become a ba-" Jungkook decided that this was the perfect time to interrupt Jin.

"Why are you even here?" I looked over to see Jungkook glaring at me.

"Oh now you want to talk to me?"

"I thought I made it extremely clear that I didn't want you here when I left you in the car. Now, answer the question. Why are you here? Why don't you go home so that we can focus on work?" His words sounding more like a command than a request.

Throughout our relationship we have made it a point to keep private matters private. So I decided to get up and gather my things.

Taehyung spoke "Kook it's no worry Y/n always comes to the studio"

"No, he's right Tae I should go." Something in me snapped when I heard Jungkook hum in approval. "I don't know why I'm here either. I uprooted my life, moved to a different country, put school on hold, left my family and friends only to become someone's dirty little secret."

"Y/n you know that's not what I meant" Jungkook's jaw clenched, his face filled with regret and worry, yet he still wanted to maintain a sense of dignity in front of the people he respected most. The boys sat quietly, in utter shock by what was unfolding before their very eyes.

"I know what you meant Jungkook and for your information I only came today because you begged me to and I wanted to spend time with you." I could feel my resolve crumbling and shedding like the tears falling down my cheeks "I didn't ask for this. I was perfectly fine with my life before you. But then you came along and made me fall so hard that I can't imagine my life without you. But that all I've been doing, living without you.  You're here one moment and gone the next. So don't blame me for considering this an opportunity to spend even just a little more time with you."

At the sight of my crumbling form, Jungkook crossed the room to wrap me in his embrace
"They're manipulating us, baby. I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm sorry for acting like a dick. It pained me to ask you to leave but i was so frustrated at the idea that you could consider doing this." He exhaled a deep breathe allowing the tension in his face to melt away completely exposing his true feelings "I see that you're trying to make the best out of the fucked up situation that I got us into." He kissed my forehead and pulled me closer to him "I'm sorry. If it means I can spend more time with you then I'm okay with this."