Loving You Out Loud: JJK

Chapter 7

"Why would I leave you?" I was so confused.

"Because I don't deserve you. I can't make you happy, I can't give you what you want in life. I-I can't marry you,atleast right now."

My heart sank and for a moment I couldn't breathe.

"Baby I'm so sorry" I could tell he was genuine in his apology but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I was in shock. I didn't know what to think at first.

Jungkook went on to tell me the full extent of the conversation that he had with the company executives and lawyers, but I couldn't bring myself to listen. The ringing in my ears and hard beating in my chest blocked out all of my senses until he said "They- they want me to pretend to date someone."

I felt my insecurities rush into my mind as I realized that it wasn't the fact that the company didn't want their beloved macknae to date, but rather they didn't want him to date someone like me. In their eyes I wasn't good enough for him. As this realization set in, I began to get upset with myself. Of course I wasn't enough. I was a fool for thinking that I was. It is only a matter of time before Jungkook realizes this as well.

I didn't say anything as I got up and started roughly whipping away the makeup I had worked so hard to do until my skin was red and raw. What was the point? I'll never be beautiful.

I slipped into a pair of sweatpants and an oversized hoodie that swallowed my figure. I didn't want to be seen; in that moment I wanted to disappear.

Jungkook wrapped his arms around me and pressed a kiss into my head. "I'm so sorry. I'll find a way to make this right. I promise, we'll be together and we'll get married. Just give me time to figure this out. I love you so much, don't give up on us and don't shut me out."

In that moment I couldn't help but think about the day we met, back when things were simpler. I was just a girl who fell madly in love with a boy.

Flashback

It was a warm spring afternoon in New York. I was a junior year art major at the Parsons school in New York City. I decided to check out a new exhibition in Chelsea that my friend's ' work was featured in. She had just graduated and had already been featured in one of the top galleries on the east coast. I couldn't have been more proud of her.

I stood there analyzing her work when I felt a presence next to me. At first, I didn't pay much attention to the person. That is until I realized the person beside me wasn't staring at the impeccable artwork in front of him but rather at me. I didn't know what to do. I stole a couple of glances at him before I spoke. "You know it's impolite to stare"

He rubbed the back of his neck and shot me a huge bunny-like smile. "I'm sorry. My name Jungkook. What about you?"

I smiled politely at him and introduced myself.

His english wasn't the best, at the time, but he could still hold a conversation if he took his time and spoke slowly. "You're very ... ipuda"

I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"I forget how to say in English" Jungkook chuckled and then immediately searched for the English translation of the word " Ah! You are very beautiful."

I giggled as I felt my face begin to heat up. I'm pretty sure that was the first time I ever blushed. I mean, who could blame me? He was stunning to say the very least.

We talked for a little while longer, getting to know each other a bit more at first. He told me that he lived in South Korea and was in New York for work. He loved his job and boasted about the fact that he got to work with his six brothers every day. We spoke about our hobbies and the things we like to do in our free time. Strangely, even though we lived in completely different places we had a lot in common. I enjoyed talking to him, there was something about his presence that made me feel excited yet still somehow comforted.

I was happy when Jungkook asked me if I'd like to grab a cup of coffee and walk with him for a bit. Before I could even think about it I said yes. We talked for hours as we walked around with no particular destination in mind.

We ended up in Central Park. The sun had already set hours ago and when we looked at the time it was midnight. The park was empty for the most part.

I was remarking on how peaceful and beautiful the city was in the still of the night when he pulled me into a soft kiss. I was taken off guard but my body instantly relaxed into the kiss. I pulled him closer as his soft lips caressed mine. At the moment I didn't realize I had fallen for him.

We didn't want the night to end so we ended up going back to Jungkook's hotel. We didn't have sex, mainly because he was sharing a room with Tae, who was already annoyed that Jungkook ditched him at the gallery earlier in the day. We spent the whole night cuddling and talking about anything that came to mind. Jungkook even taught me how to introduce myself in Korean.

The next morning he had to leave. It was a sad day but he promised to come back and visit me as much as he could. He gave me his number and made me promise that I wouldn't give it to anyone.

End of flashback

I turned around to look at him "I just wish things were simpler like when we first met." I sigh

Jungkook pulled me into him further and kissed my head "I know baby, so do I. But we'll get through this, my Doe. I know we will. Just promise you won't give up on us"

I nod and wrap my chubby pinky around his "I promise, my Buck"