Ever Since New York - Harry Styles

twenty seven

Bleu Jones

The next morning when I awoke to make Anne and myself breakfast, I listened to the song Harry had suggested for me — NYLA by Blackbear.

He was right, it really did represent our situation. I lived in New York and he lived in LA when he wasn't in London. I was hurting and he was to blame sort of, he wants to make it work, and he wants me to stay.

And I think I want the same.

"How many times are you going to play this song sweetheart?" Anne asked, walking into the kitchen with a smile.

I laughed, "Blame your son."

She cocked her eyebrow, amusement evident in her eyes. "Ah, speaking to my son? I like it."

I rolled my eyes playfully, "How do you know I didn't break his heart?"

"You're too much of a wuss." Anne joked, stealing a peace of the strawberries I was cutting.

"Ouch." I held my heart jokingly, "Jokes aside, I think I may be able to take your son back."

"And forget that wrench of a mother?" Anne scrunched her nose as she spoke of my mother.

"Not forget her, but maybe not follow what she wants me to do." I sighed, "This time to myself is very much needed, and it will do me well. Help me decide what I do or don't want to do."

"That's my girl!" Anne cheered before pecking my cheek, "I've got to go return to my family. You figure out whatever you need to and call me on New Year's Eve to come get you."

I nodded with a smile, "Thank you mum." Her face lit up at the name before she exited the home.

I was left alone with my thoughts. Anne was right: love does not need a specific time to truly be love. I'm in love with Harry, and it all happened faster than I would've wanted.

My mother already believes I'm a disappointment so what difference would it make if I continued to be one? But then again, if I do that I could not have her when I desperately need her. My wedding, the birth of my children, my graduation — those would all be completely different than they are now. I'm not sure I can handle that.

I mentally groaned at my indecisiveness and decided the one thing I needed to help calm me was a run.

Harry Styles

I paced around my living room, desperately waiting for my mother to finally come back. I was hopping for news at least of Bleu. She never texted back last night but I know she read the text since she had her read receipts on.

I didn't quite enjoy putting myself out there so blatantly. It's much easier when you put yourself out there and no one truly knows what it's about like with my songs. But now even my songs are about her. Almost my whole album is.

Right now, the album was finalized with 10 songs on it. Five of which she influenced in some way.

"Dude, calm down." Mitch scolded as he sat with Sarah, Gemma and Rachal on the couch in front of me.

"I can't! What if Bleu hates me now because of my text?" I worried.

Rachal rolled her eyes, "For the last time, I know her and I know she wouldn't! Girls head over heels for you, she's just got some decisions to make. She probably swooned over it."

I was so worried about my mother's arrival I didn't even hear her come in until she spoke. "Oh, she's swooning."

My eyes lit up, "Mum! How are you? How was the drive?"

My mum laughed, "You're never this worried about me, I know what you really want. Bleu is doing fine, she just needs some alone time. I adore her though — good choice."

I blushed at my mother's words before sheepishly looking down, "Did she mention a text from me by any chance?"

"She's been listening to that song you sent her on repeat all damn morning. I won't tell you what she said because that's her information to share."

I groaned, "Mum, really? Can I have a hint? A clue?"

Gemma smacked the back of my head as she made her way to our mother to hug her. "Stop worrying so much. You need this time too."

My mum nodded, "Yes, she's right. Use this time to really clarify your feelings for this girl and how you want to handle things. Don't forget your life is about to get crazy with album release and then tour."

Mitch coughed, "An album all about her."

My mum, Rachal and Gemma's eyes all widened as they looked at us. "What?" They all asked in unison.

I looked away from them, "So what are we going to do today?"

"I don't think so! You've played me the album Mr. Styles, which are about her? Give me some names." My mum insisted.

I mentally groaned for having showed her the album and all the songs. I should've waited for it to come out for her to hear it.

Rachal cut in, "I may have only heard a couple songs that you've performed but I'd still enjoy names."

I sighed, "Theres five that she's influenced or are about her. Theres Ever Since New York, Meet Me In the Hallway, Sweet Creature, Only Angel, and Kiwi."

"Here I am thinking Sweet Creature is about me or mum bringing you home... how wrong I was." Gemma teased.

"That's very sweet of you Harry. But tell that girl before you release the album please! No need to overwhelm her once again." My mum scolded lightly.

"Yeah, lets not forget that when you performed Ever Since New York — she broke up with you afterwards." Sarah added earning a nod of agreement from Rachal and Mitch.

"You guys are so supportive." I muttered.