Failing to be his beloved (Damian Wayne robin x reader)

Patrol

My suit was finished this morning, I didn't feel like getting out of bed though, so I just laid there, till 5:50, tim stopped coming with the bucket after the Damian incident. I just laid there, last night was a catastrophic, I need to do more planning next time. I looked at the clock, 6:30 I decided to get out of bed as Jason walks in,"What the fuck Jason,I could have been changing." He looks at me with this really face. I sigh,"what do you want." He stands up straighter, "Are you going to tell the others?" I look at him and pretend to debate,"I think I wanna wait a little longer, I don't think I wanna talk about it just yet, ok" I say my voice seems so...monotone. He sighs,"Well are you gonna at least try on your suit, it's down in the cave." I nod,"Why not" I follow him down, technically it would be my day with Richard, to train with weapons. I wonder if I'm still to be doing that. I look at my suit, theirs an extendable bo in the back, the cape clips at the waist if I want it to, there's a katana along the thigh, I have smoke bombs under the cape, a grappling hook, and a bunch of other stuff. Tim runs over,"Well try it on, the holographic watch, has a built in keyboard, I updated it with the most recent codes, and I put a realistically good firewall in along with security." I smile,"Thanks tim." I bring it to one of the empty rooms and change. My legs still scratched up, but not as bad. I put it on, it feels really nice, chest is secure, the weapons don't dig in and hurt, the shoes are comfortable. I walk out and tim says,"that's not all, the hood makes it so you can make your hair seem like it's any color." I smile, "this is awesome." Bruce walks in, good you have you're shut on,"I've instructed Damian to pack you're things since Alfred is away, You and I will be training today." I inhale, it cant be worse that my first day training with Damian. Oh boy was I wrong, first we did 500 push-ups, 2,000 sit-ups, 1000 pull ups,  a ten mile jog in 2 hrs  after that we go inside, I hope I'm done, but Bruce wants me to spar...with him...HES BATMAN...this is going to hurt. We circle, he makes the first move grabbing my fist and flipping me over, I land and scramble to my feet. He ran at me against his fist coming to me I grabbed his arm swung my legs up around his neck squeezing, leaning forwards flipped over falling hard. He stood up. I think you're ready to go on patrol with me, and officially become a part of the bat family. He lead me to the batmobile, and we headed to the hall of hero's, where I was officially announced a new hero. It was fast, but it was memorable. We got back in the batmobile and headed back to the cave. "Wait, couldn't we have just zataed?" He looked at me inquisitively,"Yes, but I figured you'd want a ride in the batmobile before you left." We got back to the mannor, I changed and headed up stairs, carting my suit to pack with the rest of my suit. I got to my room, my bag was packed, sitting on my bed. I walked over to it to put my suit in. As I approached I say my note from inside my dresser. I froze and dropped my suit. A hand went to my mouth to try to muffle my gasp. I heard my door close I jumped around to see Damian, he looks pained while looking at me. Muffle a sob, he must think I'm so weak...he must hate me...oh no...why is he even here...i probably look so pathetic. He starts walking over to me"What the HELL IS THAT." He screams at me I flinch he grabs my arm.i start cowering, trying to shrink...its not working.he sighs,"you're not a burden." I look at him,"but I am weak...and selfish...and pathetic...and a waste of space...and annoying...and ugly...an-" he cuts me off by pulling me to him in a hug."No you're not, you're none of those things,what was that note for." I sigh he doesn't know, "I...I tried to kill myself yesterday after dinner." He stiffens."YOU WHAT" I drop to my knees trying to calm myself down...I'm alright..."you're alright...you're alright...you can breath...you're alright." I start whispering to myself. Richard rushes into my room. He sees a livid Damian and me on the floor. I go to speak,"Richard go-" "No" Damian says, "he should know, so should everyone else." I go to plea but I realize this is Damian pleading doesn't work on him. I sit there paralyzed, my arms slowly lower to my sides, I stop crying and sit there staring at the floor. My mind goes blank."Alfred...TIM...JASON...Bruce...CASS...BARBRA" a few other names are called but I don't hear them. People flood into my rooms. Jason has a look of understanding when he sees me. He speaks up,"Damian don't, it will just make things worse." Damian looks at everyone,"It is imperative that everyone know what is happening, especially with something so major as life and death." That gets everyone's attention. I just sit there staring at my floor,"no Jason he's right," I stand wobbling a little. "There's something I should tell you all," I take a deep breath,"yesterday, I wrote a note, and tried to kill myself." There are many gasps, and some what's,I get quiet,"but as you can see, I failed.Jason caught me a second before I would have jumped to my death... well actually I had technically already went over the edge, but you get the point." With that I walk out of the room. Leaving everyone in there except Bruce. He's in the cave probably getting ready for our patrol. I head down there change, and walk over to him,"you ready to go." He looks at me , he stands up grabbing his cowl. We head off for my first patrol with the Batman. Surprise when all we have to do is stop a mugging. After spending the rest of the night running across rooftops, we head back to the manner. I change out of my suit, go, pack it and lay down on the floor, it seems more comfortable to me than my bed. I slowly drift to sleep, almost peacefully