Failing to be his beloved (Damian Wayne robin x reader)

Awake...but how

I open my eyes, everything is bright, did I die...is this like some kind of heaven. My eyes adjust" no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no" I shouldn't be here. The beeping beside me goes crazy."I shouldn't be here." I pull the Iv out of my arm, and bolt for the door, when I open it, I see everyone. "Y/n calm down." I can't breath,"I shouldn't be here...I shouldn't be here...I shouldn't be here..." Damian grabs my arm, " then where should you be." I freeze and look at him," I should be dead." He flinched."you were, but we brought you back." I stare. And collapse"no...no...no...I wanted to die...why am I not dead... I should be dead..." I'm on the floor, sobbing."I want to die." I hear a bickering in front of me."no. You aren't." I stare, there stands Martian Manhunter."what do you mean." He sighs,"child, Damian asked you to go through a simulation, and you agreed, after your first mission." I stare,"what." He looks at me and suddenly images are In my mind, we agreed to both go into a simulation, and see how we would handle the world collapse if on each other, staring first with the loss of each other. What wasn't supposed to happen was Martian Manhunter getting kicked out of my mind. I kept going after he left. I didn't wake up. That is until I died. He looks at Batman,"it's fail safe all over again." Richard looks distraught."it was that bad." I look at Martian Manhunter,"so that wasn't real..." I say quiet." This last month didn't happen?" He looks at me sadly,"it did...but you were in a coma for the most of it." I start shivering... and shaking...and sobbing..."I'm not alone..." I say looking up. He shakes his head,"no you're not alone. At this Damian lunges at me,I flinch back, he stops," what did I do to you In there?" I stare at the ground,"it wasn't just you." Martian Manhunter goes into my mind, and see all that I saw. He collapsed to the ground. Bruce helped him back up. He looks at Bruce and says,"there will be no more mental tests. Damian asks louder,"What happened." I look at him,"I killed myself." He stares..". No..." I look at him and then Manhunter,"you can show him." He freezes for a second, and falls to the ground." No...no...no...that wouldn't happen." I start crying again. He turns and yells at Manhunter,"it wasn't supposed to go that far." Manhunter nods,"I didn't have control of her mind."I look at him, then Damian. Damian looks at me,"beloved, I would never do that, none of us would ever do that." He makes his way to me hesitantly."I would never let anyone do that, and I would never blame you for that happening." The others look confused."what was happening." Tim asks,"I was being bullied harsher then usual." I look at them, Jason goes full mom,"give me these kids names, their numbers, I want their schedules, and the names of their parents work places.nuh uh...nobody messes with out kid. Especially if their a part of our family." I look at him,"no...don't do anything." He stares,"you think that's gonna stop me." I fling my head up."fine don't do anything to bad, and I'll give you their names." I tell him about the girls that laughed at me before the mental test. Then I stop. Damian finally pulled me out of the room."beloved" he looks so pained, before pulling me into his embrace. It's warm, and envelopes my figure. I feel safe for the first time in a long time,"I love you." Is said, i don't know by who but we both cling harder to each other. " I'm so glad you're not dead." He says. I look at him,"what happened in your mental test or whatever?" He stares at me, before dragging me to his room, and closing the door. He looks scared."Damian you're scaring me, what happened." He looks at me pained."My mother...she came back...she told you that you weren't good enough for me, I don't know what else happened with you, but you...you killed yourself. Your note said it was my fault. I...After that I...I confronted my mother, and she disowned me again. Then when I got home, everyone else left too. I missed you so much...I don't want you to ever leave me, I went on taking out my anger on criminals and miscreants. One day, I came home, and Alfred told me I had been kicked out. Then...I lived on the street for a while, I gave up on being happy. Batman fired robin, and I threw myself into more and more dangerous situations, till one day I got shot...a few to many times, and I died in the hospital...alone." I stared at him processing this,"I won't ever leave you." I lunged onto him, and pulled him close, that night we cuddled, and talked about him and me. It was the first time I ever saw Damian cry, the only time I've ever seen him show these types of emotions, I hope that he doesn't guard himself again. As I pulled myself closer to him, I tucked my head in, he leaned his head down, and nestled his noes in my hair, I nestled mine into his shirt, he smells like a bit of smoke, antiseptic, and the outdoors. I was told he woke up only 3 days before me, so why does he still have med bag smell on him,"what did you do when you woke up?" He looks at me,"I saw you and panicked. Manhunter calmed me, and I went and did some meditation, then I never left your side. Except for 3 bathroom breaks. I couldn't bare the thought of losing you again, or leaving you. " I I wrapped my legs around his, then used my hands to pull me up to his face, and kissed his nose,"I love you so much." He smirked,"I love you beloved." He leaned down, and our lips connected, it was magical, mystical, and amazing. I felt how soft his lips were, I felt tingles go through my body, everything felt perfect. We pulled apart. I rested my head on him, and closed my eyes. I'm glad I didn't actually kill myself.