Addicted || C.F

Chapter 9

*Aurelia Goldberg Perspective*

Is it possible to be this heartbroken? I never really knew how hard I could fall for a boy without even noticing it. I really just want to try and act if I don't care about Connor having a girlfriend. I hope he won't notice that on the inside I would much prefer if he didn't have one. But if he called me all those things back in high school I don't think he likes me one bit.

Before I can walk out I hear Connor sigh behind me.

"Wait. Before you leave I want to apologize for everything I did in freshman year."

"Connor... What you did was cruel an-"

"Yes I know what your gonna say. What I did was cruel and you won't forgive me. If I was you right now I wouldn't even be talking to me. But will you please just hear me out?" I nod and wait for him to continue.

"The first time I bullied you can was when my friends told me to and you know that. I remember it perfectly. You were sitting down with Chloe at lunch wearing high waisted jeans a Beatles muscle tank and converse. I was told that you were the innocent girl who got straight A's and always passed exams. My friends thought it would be funny if I poured spaghetti on your head and see how you react. I come up to your table and without a word I spill it all over you. I called you a loser because you cried about it and I guess my "friends" thought it was funny so I did it over and over. But once school finished I really thought about what I did. I never meant those cruel words I said to you. I don't want to continue rambling but I hope you understand that was a big mistake in my life and I regret it so much."

Wow. I feel a little bit better knowing Connor didn't ACTUALLY mean what he did. But he's not someone I could fully trust, I mean that whole speech could've been a lie. I really just wanted to go home and have some alone time so I could think about this.

"I'm gonna go now. Bye."

"Aurelia please...To be honest if I could give you one thing in life I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Then you could really notice how special you are to me. In my perspective your like a growing addiction that I can't deny and I'm afraid that if I tell you I like you that everything will change, that they'll be nothing for you to love and that I would probably lose you in the end. But you know what? Forget that. I like you so damn much. I like you not because of what you have but because of what I feel. I care for you not because you need care but because I want to. I'm always here for you not because I want you to be with me but because I want to be with you. Now I get it if you don't like me back because we've had a very bad past that ruined you freshman year but I hope you understand that I'm slowly falling for you Aurelia Goldberg and I don't think there's a way that I can get back up."

Wow. That was a lot to take in. I mean things will become so much more weird between us because now I know that he doesn't think of me as just a regular person but more then that. But this doesn't even make sense he has a girlfriend and I don't want to come in between there relationship.

"Connor. I can't do this."

"Do what?"

"This. I can't like you back."

"Why?"

"Don't you know why?"

"No..."

"You have a girlfriend. If I like you back I could ruin your relationship with Faith. I don't want that to happen."

"Aurelia you don't understand. Just please hear me out."

"I already did. I don't think there's more to say. Before I leave I want to tell you that I have mixed feeling about you. I kinda like you but at the same time kinda don't." I finish my sentence and start walking towards the door. I lightly touch the golden round knob and before I turn it to leave I say one last thing to Connor.