i spent the rest of the weekend studying my ass off for this physics test and by the time Monday morning came around i felt kinda confident in my abilities to at least pass.
i sat down in physics ready to take the test when suddenly i went blank , everything i studied completely went out the window when i started reading the questions , i tried to calm myself down but literally nothing helped . i started writing down as much as i could remember but honestly i made 90% of what i wrote up on the spot.
when the test was over , mattia waited behind to ask me , "how do you think you did " i was so annoyed with myself , how could i just blank out like that . "it was fine " i snapped and left before he could ask me anything else .
i sat down in my next class when taylor came over and sat next to me , "are you okay you've seemed off whole morning " she asked and i burst into tears explaining everything to her , "ahhh girl i'm so sorry " she said hugging me . i wiped my face trying to recover from my mental breakdown , "i ended whatever was going on with alejandro too by the way " i said and she looked at me surprised "why ? i just meant you should let vic know so that she wasn't caught off guard by it " she said . "honestly if i was in her shoes i wouldn't have been happy with it so i rather ended it before i got in too deep with feelings and things " i said and taylor nodded .
***
jenna and i sat on the bleachers watching the boys play a soccer game , "listen jen , i've been meaning to tell you something " i said , "what ?" she asked her eyes not leaving the field . "on saturday night at the party i saw mattia and that new lena girl making out " i said getting straight to the point . she looked at me before she burst out laughing , "you were clearly stupid drunk, he'd never do that " she said , "i swear and you can ask alejandro too we both saw it " i said and she looked at me wearily .
after the game jenna walked off the bleachers straight to mattia clearly ready to pick a fight . alejandro came over and started speaking to me but all i could focus on was jenna yelling at mattia and him yelling back in defense . he looked over at me and smirked and i immediately shifted my focus back to ale , "i'm sorry what " i asked , "how'd your test go " he laughed after repeating himself . "oh uhm it went good " i lied , "uhm i've gotta go though i'll see you tomorrow " i said hugging him and waving over at jenna and mattia .
***
i was dreading walking into physics because i knew miss smith was insanely efficient and that she would've marked our tests by now already .
i sat down and she handed out the tests . she put the paper down on my desk and i immediately flipped it over . great. another fail . i leaning back in my seat and proceeded to zone out until i felt and annoying tap on my shoulder "what " i snapped as i turned around to face mattia , his eyes went wide " listen i'm sorry please just let me help you " he practically begged and the tears i was holding in threatened to fall . i just nodded in response and he almost sighed , a sigh of relief . i excused myself to go to the bathroom .
i walked into the bathroom and locked the stall door before sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor , the though of my mom finding out killed me i hated disappointing her , and i could literally hear my dads lecture already. tears were streaming down my face .
i got up after a couple of minutes and wiped my eyes and fixed my make up slightly just as the bell rand signally the end of physics .
i walked into the cafeteria and took a seat at our bench waiting for everyone . jenna showed how first , "so mattia ended things with lena officially i saw the messages " she said smugly and i nodded "i'm glad " i said plainly .
mattia sat down next to her a couple minutes later "kels miss smith said everyone who failed can re-take the test next week monday , so you can come over tonight already if you wanna start" he said gently almost as if he was trying to not hurt me with his words i just nodded again. "why is she coming over " jenna asked him , "i'm tutoring her " he said and jenna almost seemed to not believe him but i just ignored it . "you can just text me your address and what time then i'll come over " i said as i got up to go buy me a gatorade .
i was beyond tired . beyond over today .
***
i got home and immediately headed for my shower , everything just felt better after i took a shower it's pretty weird now that i'm thinking about it .
i can't believe i agreed to let mattia help me with physics but honestly at this point i was a little desperate .
the hot water melted away all the stress from today , i got out and changed into some blue tie dyed sweats and a white hoodie with some vans . mattia texted me his address after school and said i could come over whenever i wanted . it was around 6 now so i texted him to let him know i'm on my way .
he didn't stay too far , further than ale but closer than taylor so basically between my house and school .
i pulled into the drive way , and grabbed my books before hopping out and ringing the door bell . mattia opened the door , "hey come in " he said and i flashed him a small smile .
i walked behind him through the living room where his mom and dad were sitting i greeted them both before following him downstairs to his room .
"are you okay " he asked abruptly as i put my books on his desk , "uhm yes?" i said confused , "no i mean actually okay , ale told me you ended things with him because of vic and i could see you were crying after physics so i'm just asking " he explained. "oh uhm well i'm working on it " i said and he nodded.
"i though ale's tutoring was working "he said gesturing for me to sit down , "uhm honestly he's way of explaining was just so complicated and then when i studied this weekend i thought i understood the work but then we i sat down to write i went blank " i explained. he nodded , "firstly i know exactly how it feels to go blank it used to happen to me when i was super stressed out and secondly, you don't "get" physics the only way to actually do well is to practice the rules " he said and i nodded . " so i'll explain all the basics to you and then we can do a few exercises every time you come over " he added and i burst out laughing. "why are you saying it like this is gonna be a regular thing " i asked , "it is ? well i mean if you want to pass " he shrugged.
mattia spent the next hour slowly going through all the basic steps with me and then helping me do a couple of exercises and honestly it started to look a little less complicated .
"thank you " i said as i picked up my books , "just because i'm helping you doesn't mean you can go soft on me now kels " he said and i laughed "trust me asshole that will never happen " i replied .
before leaving i greeted his mom again , "mattia is she your girlfriend " he mom asked suddenly catching us both off guard . i tried hard to stifle my laugh , "no mamá " he said clearly very embarrassed.
he walked me out to my car "girlfriend huh ? what about jenna " i asked , "she's never met jenna actually i don't think she even knows i'm dating jenna still " he said and i looked at him concerned . "please don't tell her " he begged and i just looked at him . " i'll keep this secret only because i don't want to see my best friend hurt anymore but i'm not your friend polibio so if you don't wanna be with jenna anymore then end it , i won't be keeping any other secrets i hear" i said bluntly before getting into my car and diving home
authors note
hiiii
2 chapters in one day
i'm back bitchess 🥵
hope you all are good , thanks again for all the love on this book
love you guys so much
- han
