Rabbits' Nest

Warriors x Heathers - 01 (Crack Oneshot)

(A/N: This is based off of  bxbblesong-- 's Warriors Town Of Salem Interactive Fiction work, Wrath of Asphodel, and was originally written on the Discord server for the game. In an after-game PM, I asked Bubble if Harethistle's lone survival and the existence of the mastermind trio (Tansyheart, Rosewither, Coneflower) made him Veronica Sawyer. In response, Bubble challenged me to write a oneshot regarding this crack idea. As someone who thrives on writing crack treated seriously, I had no reason to refuse, and wrote the following piece. Reading her fic first (Round 1) before reading this would be a good idea.)

A One-shot pertaining to Harethistle's fate, as requested by our Game Master Bubble

Crossover with Heathers: The Musical 

Tansyheart was rolling around in her garden on the deceased. Harethistle couldn't care less. 

"Bloodthirsty foxheart. I won your sick little game, and everyone is dead because of it. What am I supposed to do now, then? Kill more at your command?!" 

Before the aggressive tom cat could get any further with his outburst, Rosewither had already appeared next to him to forcibly calm him down. "Don't disturb Tansyheart. This is a sacred moment for her." 

"What in Starclan-" Realizing that he no longer had any right to call upon Starclan's name, the tabby quickly took back his words. "Sacred, my ass! Those are the corpses of my Clanmates!"

 Coneflower, approaching from the opposite flank of Rosewither, echoed Harethistle's thoughts. "Can you really call them your Clanmates, though?" 

Choosing to ignore that very pointed and barbed question, the poisoner retorted with "At least let the other traitors go! They helped that- that bitch! Shouldn't she at least have some respect for them?" 

"Harethistle!" the cat in question was, once again, interrupted in the middle of a rant, this time by the mastermind of the tragedy that had just happened not even five days ago. "You, get something blue and wear it!" 

Uh, what the fuck? 

"Coneflower! Go get something yellow! Use these flowers or something if you can't find any!" Tansyheart was still rolling around the monumental flowers, but she was already outfitted with a large amount of red flowers and - was Harethistle hallucinating, or were those Twoleg garments?! No, that couldn't be the case, the psychedelic plants were all to the left of the rise border, and he hadn't even touched any in the past moon- 

"Oh no, not again." Came Rosewither's response. She was normally collected and calm, opposing Tansyheart's manical passion, so the undercurrent of panic in her voice spoke volumes. Just what fresh hell was in store for him?

"Rosewither. I need to know. Just what in the name of-" Oh right, he had nothing of any worth to swear with. Fantastic. "What the shit is Tansyheart doing?!" Coneflower had already gone to retrieve the yellow flowers, as per the mastermind's request. 

"Tansyheart is high." 

What?! 

"Last time, it was because Tansyheart grew catnip, but she didn't grow any this time-" Panic began to creep into the non-binary cat's voice. "I checked them, I swear, so why-" 

"Rosewither, my dear, go get something green and wear it, will you?" Tansyheart's orders seemed to take precedence over Rosewither's rising panic, and the mastermind's assistant sprinted off to get some leaves, as green as possible.

Now, Harethistle was left alone with Tansyheart. He didn't want to stay, but if he left he would almost certainly die. What a corundum.  

"Harethistle, you mouse brain, didn't you hear me the first time? Or do you need some... Incentive? Now shoo, get your blue plants!"