ɪᴅᴇɴᴛɪᴛʏ ᴠ ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍɴᴇss (Slow Updates)

IDV moments while I try to think of a nice plot

I feel like I need to update twice today... So have this small compilation of jokes I made as a sorry gift for now. I will be writing more oneshots in the future tho ( ⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⌢⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀)

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How some characters react to their favourites, or you! Ft. Y/N

•Jack

Y/N: Roses, or me?

Jack: where's Naib? I want Naib in the choices.

Y/N: WTF I'm your lover— whatever.

•Kreacher

Y/N: ... Your scruffy beard, or me?

Kreacher: Does Y/N not like Kreacher's beard? :( Of course Kreacher would choose Y/N, but if you don't like the beard I'll shave it off for you—

Y/N: No I'm sorry please don't be sad anymore (╥﹏╥)

•Emma

Y/N: Emily, or me?

Emma: I'm a woman who strongly believes that everyone should not be compared with each other....

Emma: But I'm sorry I'll have to choose Emily anytime any day (◕દ◕)

•Joseph

Y/N: Aesop, or me?

Joseph: You could answer that yourself ;)

Y/N: Awww you chose me~—

Joseph: Wtf no. I'm choosing Aesop.

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Emma: WE GOT A PROBLEM HOST—

Host: SHHHH! The kids are sleeping! *Looks at Mind's eye and Martha*

Emma: oh, okie, sorry

Host: what's up?

Emma: *in a very small voice* ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ's ᴀ ғɪʀᴇ...

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Emily: *walks in on Emma doing a ritual in the living room* ... What are you doing...?

Emma: oh, you told me to satanize the house remember?

Emily: i sAID SANITIZE!

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Nabi: *taps on table*

Naib: *taps back*

Host: what are they doing?

Eli: Oh, they're learning Morse code—

Naib: *suddenly stands up and slams hand on table* SAY THAT TO MY FACE—

Nabi is not mine, she's from Nabi_Subedar and I just remembered that one moment where they were also using morse code lol—

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Freddy: *about to kick Kreacher's butt in an argument* Mothers and f*ckers of the jury, we are gathered here today to cancel a b*tch.

Kreacher: *sweat drops*

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Aesop: I like it when guys roll up their sleeves so you can see their forearms.

Joseph, looking down and realizing he only has two arms: dammit...

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Kevin: Hey Kreacher do you have any shaving cream?

Kreacher: no I don't like how they taste.

Kevin: what

Kreacher: what

Kevin: ... You eat shaving cream?

Kreacher: no I told you, why would I eat it if I don't like the taste?

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Kreacher: A fly just flew into my ear and I think it's gonna eat my brain.

Lawyer: it's gonna starve

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Luca: I just learned how to shoot today, so now you got someone that knows how to fire a gun when needed.

Andrew: nothing's sexier than a man that can put me out of my misery

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End

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