ɪᴅᴇɴᴛɪᴛʏ ᴠ ʀᴀɴᴅᴏᴍɴᴇss (Slow Updates)

Depressed! Gardener x Mercenary- Me either

Warning: Self Harm

Lol I got bored so here's a thing made

Emma's POV

I watch as Naib and Martha laugh with eachother in the distance.

I can't say I'm not hurting.

I love Naib. I did everything just so he could survive in matches and win some games. I destroyed rocket chairs whenever he gets caught, I always rescue him even if it means sacrifice, follow him when he's injured, and aid him in decoding because I know he sucks at it.

I know, regarding in use in rank or just quick matches, I'm more useless than Martha. She's beautiful, cool, useful, and perfect. Perfect for him...

They have so much in common.

I was in a deep daze I didn't notice Naib waving for me to come over. He had his arms around Martha's shoulders.

This hurts.

Of course, he had me wrapped around his fingers without him knowing. I obediently went to them, plastering a fake smile as I pull down my sleeves that were once just reaching my elbows.

Yes. I cut.

It's not just because of this painful thing called love.

I'm aware that I'm useless. I'm always used as bait in matches and at these times I rarely even get into them. It hurts knowing the others get picked at least 3 times a week but me, I barely even get 2.

It's ok. I understand they want to win. I'd just be a burden.

Anyways, I waved as I come near them, hiding my arms behind my back. People say I look so precious, fragile, innocent. They don't know. They don't know how broken I am. They don't know my past, my current state, or me.

"Emma! Martha's been telling me stories back when she served the army. She saved a man once!" Naib said. Martha nodded and grabbed his chin "Yep, and this guy apparently saved a kid back in the war. Ain't that right, Naib?" Martha complimented.

Are.... they... together?

Ouch...

"W-well, that's so amazing for you both!" I answered, sadness evident from every word I let out. I don't think they noticed though.

The two laughed "Haha! It's what we do! Right soldier?" Martha said as she looks at Naib. Naib made finger guns and clicked his tongue "You got it!" He replies and winks. Causing Martha to giggle. They're so close with each other.

My smile twitches as water drips from my eyes. "O-oh.... Well, I'm happy...." Naib must have noticed my small break down because he reached over my face, wiping away a tear that has fallen. I flinch away from the contact.

"Emma? Are you crying?" the mercenary asks, worry and sadness in his face. He pities me. I hate myself.

I turned around, covering my face. "N-no! I'm fine," lies "I got something in my eyes I guess!" this is good. Keep hiding your pain "It must have stung me! Hahaha!" No, you stung my heart... You've broken it too much, now it can't be fixed.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to hide my pains "Anyways, I have to tend to something! Bye!" I ran away. Looking at my peripheral vision, they didn't even run after me. They continued talking. They don't care.

No one does....

I'm.... invisible....

I always see the negative in everything

I couldn't stop crying. I reached my room and pulled out my tool box. Pulling out the sharp blade covered in a clean white clothe, I grabbed the sharp end. I didn't care if it pricked me. I had darker intentions.