BREAKING | rafe cameron

THIRTY

Josie is one month old, she's developed a very strong personality, she's definitely a daddy's girl, which is hard when I'm home all day with her and she's just fussy, and all Rafe has to do is hold her and she stops. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong, even though I'm not. Rafe and I've been arguing a lot lately, about stupid little things, but they're turning into huge fights. I could tell he was on the verge of breaking, but he wouldn't talk to me, which was making it worse for the both of us. It's late, Rafe still isn't home, he should've been home an hour ago, deep down I knew what was coming, but I didn't want to admit it until I saw it.

Josie was finally asleep for the night, although I knew she'd wake up in a few hours to eat again, thankfully it should be a while, I was washing dishes when I heard the front door open. "The baby is sleeping!" I whisper shouted, I heard Rafe mumble something, he walked into the kitchen in front of me. "Hi, baby." He mumbled pressing a kiss to my lips, "hi, I didn't think you were ever coming home." I sighed, I studied his face, something seems different, I couldn't quite place it. "Where's Josie?" I raised a brow at his question, I pointed to the monitor on the counter, "she's sleeping." I looked at him skeptically, I just told him that. "Rafe, look at me." I whispered softly, drying my hands on the towel, he looked at me but wouldn't meet my eyes. I placed my hands on either side of his face, forcing him to meet my eyes. I dropped my hands from his face, I ran my thumb across the top of his nose, a tear falling from my face. "Rafe." I sighed, trying to keep my composure, I knew he was going to get angry, whenever he does a line he gets angry, and I haven't seen that side of him in over a year. "Charli, I don't want to do this right now." He grabbed a soda from the fridge, chugging it like it was a beer, "well we need to do this right now." I crossed my arms over my chest. "Fine okay, I fucked up, I did coke, I did two big fat lines of it." I let out a silent cry at his words. "Rafe," I reached for his hand but he pulled it away, "we talked about this, you need to tell me when you feel like you're going to snap. You can't go back down that road, you've been doing so good." I explained to him, his eyes staring back at me, they weren't his normal happy eyes, they were the dark, angry ones I haven't seen since we first started dating.

"You make it sound like its fucking easy! News flash, it isn't, and you put so much pressure on me to do all these things, it's bullshit!" He yelled, I cringed, knowing he woke Josie up, she started screaming. "I'll get her." He muttered, "the hell you are! You're not touching her when you've done drugs." I snapped, stepping in front of him. "You're going to keep me from my daughter?" He yelled back at me, "yes, Rafe, because when you're like this, you're not you!" I cried out, leaving him in the middle of the kitchen as I rushed to our room to grab Josie. "Hey, baby girl." I cooed, rocking her in my arms, she continued crying, those ear piercing screams. "Josie please, honey, calm down." I cried, feeling absolutely pathetic for what's happening right now. "Shh." I soothed her as Rafe walked in the room, he grabbed a duffel bag from the closet, shoving clothes into it. "What are you doing?" I asked him, trying not to scare the baby. "Checking myself back into rehab, I can't come back from this by myself." He muttered, I stared at him in shock, he's just going to leave for thirty days. "Rafe-" "Charli, please don't talk me out of this, I want to do it, I need to do it, I don't want to lose you and Josie, damn it." He slammed his fist against the wall, surprisingly not putting a whole through it. I walked over to him hesitantly. "Okay, Rafe." I placed a hand on his tense shoulder, "if this is what you need to do, I support you." I whispered, finally getting him to turn to me, he looked at Josie and cried. "Fuck, I'm such an idiot, I'm sorry." He looked at her, sleeping peacefully in my arms, I handed her to him. "You have to say goodbye to her before you go." I walked out of the room, shutting the door and letting out a sob, I slid down the wall, listening to him talk to the sleeping baby, "I'm going to miss you so much, you have to be good for mommy, okay? And I'm so glad you won't ever remember this, I swear to you this won't happen again." I cried harder at his words, I heard movement and then the door opened, he walked out with his bag. "Josie's in her bassinet-" I cut him off, jumping onto him, my arms around his neck. "I'm going to miss you." I sobbed into his shoulder, he dropped the bag and put his arms around my waist, "I'm going to miss you too, but I need to do this, I have to. I don't want Josie to see me like this." He choked out, giving me one last squeeze. "I love you." He gave me a kiss, his lips were salty from his tears. "I love you." I told him, letting myself stand on the ground, I held back a sob as he walked out the door, please, let this work.