Blainsville

23) Conformation Confrontation

Diana

Well its official we moved out of Blainsville and toward Maine we only packed clothes, pictures and essentials. We were lucky that the land was now ours but living out of a car wasn't legit; we needed to get an RV which is exactly what we were planning on doing now. It was a few days till Christmas and we were at a dealership scrolling through brochures of RVs, "This one looms big enough for now. Then we can get a size bigger when I deliver..." I say as Jimmy's flipping through another magazine. "This is perfect. Its got a bathroom, extra storage inside it expands for a table. I say we get this one plus it's for clearance." We nod at each other trying to find a salesperson. As I'm standing there now looking at cars im met with a person that Jimmy knows but we seldomly see, "Hey guys! How are you? Its been a little while since I've seen you two again. Like what last month?" Howard comes out of nowhere holding a pair of keys. "Howard... What are you doing here?" Jimmy asks, "Well now that you can see I came to trade in the Hummer. Now that this little guys on the way we need a stable vehicle." He adds rubbing his stomach. He wasn't nearly as big as Jimmy thank God but his hips were wider. "That's cool what make and model fid you end up getting?" Howard shrugs ushering us to follow him, "Well I got this baby for our baby." Im met with a Toyota sport jeep which is essentially a high end luxury vehicle but for non families... The complete opposite of us right now. Because we were leaving everything behind for the twins except a couple hundred dollars for temporary issues and accidents if they were to happen other than that we would live in an RV until the cabin was fixed up. "Its a nice ride I'll admit. We should really get going, Howard I'll talk to you later." Jimmy says rolling his eyes as we walk away. "Oh so on his shitty Kmart register salary they can afford a new car now they're moving into nowhere. Tell me how the hell is that possible?" We worked at the same fucking place for years and somehow he's still making it by." Jimmy and I finally encounter a salesperson, "Hi we have a few questions about buying an RV." He chuckles not before glancing down at Jimmy's belly. "I see so you guys must be looking for a sports vehicle I suppose? We'll if you follow me I can give you a small tour if you're interested." I nod leading Jimmy with me to look at the newer makes and models which isn't exactly what we were looking for at the time.

Jimmy

I'm not really paying attention to a word this guy is saying I'm too busy trying to figure out how Howard's making it by better than we are and there's only two of us right now. "Jimmy?" I hear. I'm snapped out of my envious thoughts by Diana staring at me, "What's wrong?" I mumble rubbing my stomach. Man these twins were kicking up a storm lately its literally like they're punching my organs. "Oh yeah its a nice one... Yeah we aren't interested in a new model we're kinda looking for a refurbished one. Kind of in a financial tight spot obviously." I smart off the sales guy shrugs, "Well we can help you with that problem if you'll come with me this way I have a few you two might be interested in. If I may ask is this a honeymoon phase? Like your one last hooray before you obviously pop?" He asks something about his assumption begins to piss me off but I don't say anything till I'm alone with Diana. As we lag behind this guy I pull her closer to me, "What the fuck was that about? Honeymoon phase? Come on, Ana that's kind of fucked off its almost like he draws his own conclusions about the situation. Im not saying lets be honest about what were doing I'm just saying lets reconsider this." Diana shrugs, "What are you saying, James? We just disappear into the sunset live a peaceful life elsewhere? Were going to need to live somewhere, babe. I mean what do we do if one of us gives birth? We aren't even sure what the cabin looks like inside yet. What if its hoarded or dead bodies everywhere?" Diana whispers in a panic. I grab her by her shoulders, "How about we go out there for Christmas weekend? Im not sure about inviting my parents out there... They kind of hated my granddad they always had pretty big disagreements." The sales guy is looking at us it's almost as if he feels left out if the conversation, "Here are more of your style; its got comfort and plenty of room..." Diana is staring at me and vice versa. "Lets go check the place out before we know what we're getting into ok?" I say and we begin to walk out leaving the guy utterly confused. As were getting in the car I'm driving even though its became a task at this point, "Ok so if we aren't inviting your parents what about mine?" Diana asks I nod, "Yeah they can come first let's access the damage were dealing with before we make any rash decisions." I add as we leave the lot. I take the hour and a half drive out there luckily the cabin was still in tact if we're lucky. After a couple hours due to Christmas traffic we finally made it out to the woods, Diana's reading the map telling me turns and roads to get to the cabin. Something about being back here brings back bittersweet memories ones where my mom got into it with her dad because he treated me better than her. Memories of fishing in the pond, the swimming hole with my cousins so many memories both good and bad just driving through the trees is a sense of not being as alone as I think I am that's when it comes into view; a rickety, broken down two story shack I'm staring at it in awe and despair, "Well this just made things a hell of a lot harder. Look at this mess." Diana says once we park outside. I undo my uncomfortable seatbelt and walk out to give a half glance at the run down mess that used to be my Granddads cabin. "Its not that bad just needs some repairs and TLC is all. The outside alone can be maintained... Im dreading the inside though." I add as we move toward the door. I unlock it and take a second to take a breath before deciding to walk in once inside the landscape is a different story. Its not bad nor is it good either there's clutter but mainly dust, leaves and possible raccoon poop. The living room is still large like I remembered only the TV stand is broken and a patch of the wall is missing. "At least its not as bad as outside... I could really redo this place." Diana says walking i to the kitchen/ dining area which I follow soon after. The long table my Uncle Mike built is still in the same spot when Granddad died which makes the emotions come to light, "This kitchen is actually small compared to ours its going to require a lot of attention. I mean look at the floor in here; its so 1978." Diana giggles by now the tears have decided to fall. Shes not aware that I'm about to come undone because the memories are so strong and so familiar... This place was essentially my second home and now that I see it practically falling to the ground... I'm speechless all I can do now is cry. I walk upstairs best as my belly would allow and make a right in the hall this room was my room growing up. I push the door open little by little inch by inch when I catch my dresser across the room and then I see my bed frame smack dab at the window, "Wow so you kept all of it all these years?" I whisper to myself. In actuality I wanted to confront my granddad for letting this beautiful place fall to shit. I take a seat on the mattress I used to be able to lay down on before it was covered with cobwebs and dust. As I glance around at my small room my hands fly to my face where I break down completely. "Baby? James, where are you?" I hear Diana coming up the stairs I cant answer without turning into a blubbering fit, "Oh baby..." Diana takes a seat beside me and pulls me to her to cuddle and console me. "This used to be my room as a kid until I was 16. I mean my granddad was there for me when my dad decided he wasn't going to be. My mom hated him because of how he lived... It never looked like this... She didn't talk to him till a year before he died and it was only to argue over the deed. He's been gone 10-12 years now and just being in here..." I start hiccuping and wanting to cry more Diana holds me closer. "I really like this place, Jimmy. I have a good idea but we both have to agree in order to do it... But its going to require some listening and thinking this through." She says. I stop myself from falling apart any more than I already am, "What's the idea?" I ask wiping my tears. "We could skip the whole idea of going back. I don't want to live in a cramped as RV that might be shitty for the price its going at. How about we pack it all up and just live here? I mean most of the work is cosmetic anyway. My dad could help make repairs and when the twins are older we could renovate the entire house." I sit there trying to process what she just said. I mean we were already essentially moving out but the idea was temporary until the babies were at least 3 or 4 but now we had a whole other house... Another shot. I'll admit this place was going to take a lot of time and dedication to fix but we could get it done but clean up enough to give birth or raise a family wasn't totally out of the questions not yet at least. "You're saying you want to stay here? Permanently?" I stand up glancing out the window to be greeted by pine trees and a pale gray sky. "Yes think about it, Jimmy... We could start a whole new life; under a new name if we wanted." I continue to stare out the window a gentle breeze shook the room a bit, "You're serious about this? Think of all the things we are giving up for this... Its a lot to do plus me being close to labor. I don't know, Ana. It could take us years to fix this place we cant get it prepped in time for these babies..." Diana cuts me off mid sentence with a soft calming kiss, "We have enough money if we sold the house to put all our efforts into this if you wanted to. I mean we both have to agree on this; together because living out here I can imagine isn't going to be easy and both of us being pregnant were gonna need some serious help. What do you think?" She practically is begging me or at least trying to lure me in with those newly wide hips and a bountiful butt bit this time my decision was the final say, "Tawney." She mumbles, "What did you say?" I ask back she smiles at me, "I think we should name the boy that name. It's unique like this whole ordeal." I shrug I knew what she was doing this was going to be a challenge. "First off, no we are not naming him Tawney thats just weird. Secondly, if this is what you want what you really want I'll make it happen. You know I will." Dianas face lights up by thousands as quick as I confirmed it she hugged my neck, "We arent gonna regret this." She whispers in my ear.