Knots Twisted

39 - Positive

Aishani's pov

"What's wrong Aishu?" Raghav asks as he sees me fiddling with my breakfast

"Nausea Raghav,I don't feel like eating.." I say, nausea was edging it's way through my stomach

It was pretty normal for me to feel this way, after all the breakfasts I had skipped during MBBS, internship and residency.. I couldn't expect my appetite to be normal

"Aishani, try to eat something.. Or else your nausea will only become worse" Raghav said with concern

I just nodded and tried to force the food down while gagging

"Aishani, do you remember where you kept the mangoes I brought yesterday?" Monica asked

"In the fridge?" I said

"No silly! You've kept them on top of the washing machine! What has happened to you?" She asked

My god! What was wrong indeed! I was feeling so confused and dizzy since yesterday

"I'm sorry Moni... Probably was thinking of something else" I say

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I kiss Raghav's cheek as he drops me off at the front of the hospital and leaves to park the car behind

Walking in, I feel Sister Aranya looking around in confusion, with a worried look on her face

"What happened sister?" I ask

"Oh god! Doctor Aishani! The worst has happened! The patient you operated on day before yesterday.. Has.. Tested positive for Nipah virus" she says, I nod but my eyes widen and legs stumble as I understand her words

"What?"  I say, oh god! I was in direct contact with him! Operating on his thoracic cavity for heaven's sake!

"Yeah.. 5 people on your crew had already tested positive, their results came back just now" she says

I sink down on the chair

Wait a minute.. Nausea and confusion.. Are symptoms of Nipah!

I sink down on the chair at the reception as everything dawns upon me

"No no! You can't sit on the chair! Please wear the gown, we need to take you to the isolation ward" she says handing me the gown

"Your husband's reports came back negative actually.. But if you test positive, we have to test him again" she says

Oh god! For so many years I've wanted to die.. You can't just give me a reason to live and then take my life away!

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1 day later

All this while I prayed to whichever god I could think of.. Please if something happens to me, let it not happen to Raghav, Monica or anyone I've been in contact with!

The Doctor who is in charge if the ward, came to see me, but stood near the door as he can't come any closer

"You're test has cone back positive for—" he says but someone yelling "code blue!" in the background catches his attention as he runs to the voice
(Code blue is when a patient's heart has stopped beating)

That's it! I'm positive

Come on Aishani! Don't think so negative, you might not die

Yeah sure with a 60-75% mortality rate, I'm sure as hell going to die

My immune system isn't the strongest either, there's no way I'm going to live

I pull my phone out to message Raghav as my head starts to become heavy

Is it.. It's.. Encephalitis (a swelling of the brain)..I don't think I'm going to survive

Tears prick my eyes as my head starts to feel even more heavy, I pick up my phone and try to type through blurry eyes

To Raghav:
I don't even know how to tell you, I don't think I can.. Just like I don't have words to express my love for you
You're the person I've opened up to the most, not Dhanush, not my father, but you
If this was before I met you, I would've gladly given away to the clutches of death, but you.. You've given me a reason to live, you gave me new hope
My only wish was to grow old with you, that's what's hurting me the most, I didn't get the one thing I have ever wanted, but then again, fortune never has been in my favour
I'm so sorry that this is the end, I'm sorry I'm leaving you, don't ask me how, but I know I am
You lifted me up from the depths of my own mind, helped shed my baggage, and I can't repay you in any way
Marrying you was the best thing ever, hell I'm even thankful to Tarun for giving me this blessing in disguise
I wish I could tell you to find another girl, but I'm a selfish person, I can't.. But I still want you to be happy
I really hope I haven't spread it to you, or to anyone else
I hope you'll forgive me Raghav, and I hope that in some other lifetime, I'll meet you again, and that time I'll actually stay
I love you so much, and I will forever

My Heart stings as I go on to type goodbye, but I can't, eventually the phone slips out of my hand as I press send

I remember years ago, when my grandmother died, she called dad the day before and said that she wanted to see all of us

When we reached there, she said her time has come to an end, my dad said it was nonsense and she couldn't possibly know when she was going to die, and I thought the same too.. But now I know

It's a feeling you get, it almost like you can see death lurking above you, waiting to pull you into its arms, it was the feeling I was having now, a feeling of the inevitable

I smiled through my tears as I felt all the happy memories swarm by me
The memory of me going hiking with dad for the first time
Dhanush cutting his cake while lifting me up and feeding me during his 6th birthday
Me learning to cook from mom and nearly burning the house
And finally.. Of my wedding

I clutch my mangalsutra and lay back as my head becomes too heavy for me to sit

Black dots prick my vision as I take my last few breaths

This is how I die.. Alone.. Like I always was

I close my eyes as I give way to the darkness

This is it.. Sweet sweet death

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In My defense, I cried while writing this chapter
😞😞