I wish I knew

After all these years

Kami got better and went back home, her friends came to see her and her besties never left her side, they were chilling untill kami's phone rang and it was Rain.. kami didn't wanna pick up but Niya told her she must put an end to this so she picked up.. "hey babe" kami rolled her eyes "hi" "can we talk please" "sure wsup" "not on the phone can I come over" Eda heard that .. "sure I'll be waiting" and she hanged up. "If she is coming I won't stay here I can't stand looking at her face" "okay kams we are heading out just call us if anything" kami nodded"sure will".
The girls left the house and few minutes later the bell rang and Miss Louther opened it allowing the girl to come up stairs and meet kami.. Rain kncok at the door and kami allowed her in "hey".. "hey" she came in asking kami "how are you baby" "cut it off with baby's bullshit" kami said in a Sharpe tone, she huffed"what do you want" "kami I'm sorry.. I .. I can't make an excuse for me or for my actions.." Kami watched her talking in complete silence "I was lost I didn't know what to do I missed you and I.. I don't know how to express myself or my feelings.. I missed you so I went and fucked an other woman..I was lost, I put the blame on you and don't take responsibility for my actions.." she took a deep breath, she was crying.. "you don't deserve the way I treated you and I'm ready .. I'm ready to make it up for you now babe.. I know how much I fucked up I know how much you .." kami cut her off "idk why you crying tho.. I'm the one with broken heart" " I hope you had ana amazing orgasm" she said with a cold numb look on her face she got up of bed.. took of the ring and gave it to her "I loved you, and all I got back is this, I belived you, I waited for you to be honest about what you want, I wanted you to tell me before I find out myself but look at this shit we call love, I can't keep this toxic shit.. take your lies and .." she huffed and said in a broken tone "goodbye Rain".

The girl didn't know what to say, that was the moment she knew she fucked up, she said that's she's sorry she tried to win her back she kept trying but *sorry* can't fix shit onec you break a glass it won't come back the way it was, she took the ring and left the house in tears realizing that she got the chance, a lot of chances and she wasted them and when she finally woke up.. kami wasn't waiting for her anymore.. kami will heal, not now not soon but she will, this was so hard for her because she thought it was real, she wanted her to be her everything, she planned future with her, she made her life about her, but it was a mistake. The though of that she must say goodbye to every plan they made killed her "now I understand when they said you can't love someone until you live your Self" she layed in bed in tears "you will give everything untill there is nothing else left to give than lose your self" she felt her heart burning, "because when they leave you be left with nothing other than love for yourself". She was a strong girl that had a lot of pain in her life that she thought she won't get rid of it but look at her now a 26 years old beautiful girl that has a life for her to live, and a lot of life lessons to learn the hard way.

On the other side of the city people lived Thur best lives.. and rain took her first flight to LA after the break up wishing the best for kami.

It was a nice night at the clubhouse, where Eda and her girlfriend were chatting and kissing touching from time to time, they ordered some food when Eda said "let's get comfortable shall we!" And the girl followed her, they were chilling untill a waiter came to them with a bottle of champagne "what is this !from who" the young man said it's from those gentelmen "take it back" Sara told him when Eda stopped her "what are you doing.. never say no for free drinks.. thank you we will take it" "enjoy" he said leaving. Eda looked at the boys there and they waved at her, Sara didn't like it , "what are you doing" she said "what I'm just saying thank you or you know what .." she got up heading towards them and Sara follow her "what the.." "hey boys" "well hello ladies" " we just wanted to say thanks for the drink" Sara said "why did you send it tho we had enough" "you seems a bit lonely there so .." Eda raised her eyebrows with a devil smile "how can we thank you" one of them said "maybe dancing" she took his hand and headed to the dance floor while the other boy went to Sara and offered a dance too, Sara was jealous and wanted to make Eda as well so she said yes. Eda was wearing a black dress with naked back her hair was up, giving you desire to kiss her neck and smell her perfume. She danced on the boy and Sara infront of her, lights were low and colorful and poor boys they almost nut just with a small dance.. Eda got closer to Sara and their lips were one inch apart untill Sara came in for a long kiss craving Eda body, they forgot about the boys and went to Eda's appartement, the next thing you see is the next morning after a drunk sex.

Eda woke up before Sara and she was watching her naked body and her soft lips under the morning light.. Sara woke up meeting Eda's light green eyes "hey creep" she took Eda's lips in a kiss they ended up making out almost fuck untill Sara said "let's get married" Eda stopped for a moment and pulled back "what" Sara got up and sat in bed "you heard me let's get married we are old enough and I'm so in love with you.." she added "I can't stand it you being with with anyone other than me" Eda got up off bed her naked back was covered with her hair she was wearing her bra and panties getting out of bed showing her body that everyone got lost trying to discover.. "where are you going" Eda was annoyed "hey!" She hand her hand " what's wrong?" Sara asked covering her self with the white sheets, when Eda answered her "you know marriage doesn't work for me we spoke about it before this.." "I know but I can't help it I want you only for myself" Eda shooke her head and wore her clothes "I gotta go I can't do this" Sara said "that's all you do you run away each time" she went quite for a sexy "it is because of her?!" "Because of who" "KMAI" "what!?" "Don't play it fool.. you changed since she got sick" "don't just dont" "tell me just tell me I'm wrong " "stop it I said, I'm outta here" she took her bag and left Sara naked in bed wondering about what is she's in love with her for real.

Eda went home took a shower and changed her clothes to go visit kami.. "are you down for a ride kams?" Kami smiled "I'd love to but I'm bit.." "nope you will it's a car ride nothing else " she said making a dirty joke "not a dick ride" kami laughed at her "which won't tier you" "said the fuck sucker" she replied," alright let's go", she got up changed her clothes and all she did she wore a hoodie after she took off her shirt showing her black bra which Eda saw her abs and boobs and that line on her back and got her thinking "wow".
It was four months since her break up..
The girls hitted the road with no destination which was the best ever music on and singing along with them.. they went to the beach their favorite place.. just watching the waves coming and going, kami let out a tear which Eda noticed falling "hey are you okay" "no Eda! I'm not okay" she said crying "Everytime I say I'm over it .. it hits me again just like these waves" "I'm over her I don't wanna see anything that is about her but it just hurt you know.." "maybe going out was a bad.." "no it wasn't no I needed this" she looked at her holding her hand.. "you have always been there for me thank you" "there is no thank you between friends Kami I told you I'm always here for you and I'll always be" she kissed her forehead and pulled her close to her.

Deep down Eda knew those feelings she tried to bury years ago did not die, the only thing she did was hide them and lying to herself a good lie each time and believed it, and now she can't hide this anymore ,it started to show on her face, and this is not the right time, kami was in pain she was in the process of healing so she stood there for her as a friend and deep inside as a lover, fighting her heart to stay strong, and bit lose it at some point and kiss the girl she loved.