Mattia and the unexpected

Im not ready

Mattia:" do feel the same way  about me the way I do about you" he says while laying next to me in his bed

I never really thought about how I felt towards him but I'm sure I feel the same.
Vanessa:" sometimes, na am playing I do"
He laughs and just starts kissing me. Before I knew it my top was off and I was just in my bra.

I took his shirt off and continued to kiss down his neck.
He turns and is now ontop of me he was sucking on my upper part of my breasts and left hickeys down my chest.
I managed get his trousers off and he was just in his under wear. I was still wearing my legggings but as he put his hands down to take them off i freaked out  and got up.

Mattia:"hey hey what's wrong"

Vanessa:"sorry I'm just not like ready, I mean I am i just feel wrong like I just can't stop think about that night"
He pulled me next to him and gave me a kiss on the cheek. We cuddled up still half naked.
Mattia:"no rush, it's fine I get it just as long as you're here with me I'm fine"

We cuddled until he fell asleep.
I just stared at him, everything was perfect on his face . His lips his eyes his nose his cheeks his beauty spot his hair. His body too was just beautiful.  I realised how lucky I was to be with him right now at this moment.

He was there for me during my hospital days eventhough we weren't the closest or had the best friendship he still stood by me. Now he's with me through this terror which is over but still haunting me. He is my bestfriend but I feel something more about him. I don't love him just yet but I feel like I'm getting there. I'm afraid I shouldn't because I never know What he could wake up and feel. It's honestly scary catching feelings.

I admired his face a little longer than fell asleep. The night was perfect.

//Authors note.
To anyone who is struggling with telling their story of sexual assault just know ur amazing and strong🥺. Am sorry if any of you have experienced it . Tell your story whenever your ready. I'm sorry if yall going through something right now, I promise time heals everything it does get better I swear. Just thug it through sis you a bad bitch😛//