Late Night Texting Buddies

Deep Talks

Are you sleeping?

Nope

Okay, i didn't want to wake you.

You didn't. I'm awake.

Why are you always awake?

Why are you?

Why won't you tell me? Is it some big secret or something? I won't tell.

Okay.. I stay up all night trying not to fall asleep, forcing myself to stay awake so that I won't, uh, sleep..

Wait.. You don't want to sleep? How come? Do you have nightmares?

Sort of.. I have night terrors, I guess they're called, sometimes I run in my sleep when they happen, and sometimes I sleepwalk, or well, sleep run. I have to lock my door every night and then I just try to stay awake so it doesn't happen.

Wow. I had no idea. That must be hard to deal with.. I, um, I have insomnia. I have trouble falling asleep, and sometimes I have trouble staying asleep, and sometimes I.. I have these really bad, awful, nightmares. There's something wrong with the part of my brain that's supposed to help me sleep.

I feel your pain lol what are these awful nightmares about?

Mostly me being lost and- and alone.

I'm always running from myself. I don't know what it means. I use to think it meant I was afraid of myself, but now I think it's about more than that. It's like this fear, this constant fear, that what I did is going to catch up to me. Who I used to be, and how I used to act..

I get that. Sometimes I dream that I am drowning and I'm the one holding myself under the water until I can't breathe. Or I'm frozen with a weight on top of me, crushing the ice..

Do you think that maybe your nightmares are causing your insomnia? That maybe you're scared of them so your brain won't let you sleep.. I'm scared of mine.

Of course I'm scared. But I think it's more about how I feel when I wake up. Panting, covered in a cold sweat, and sometimes I feel like I need to throw up

I wish I could help. I don't know how, but if I did I would help.

It's just something I have to deal with.

But you don't have to deal with it alone. I'm here, and I'm already awake, anytime you need to talk to someone. Anytime you have a bad dream you can text me, okay?

What if I have a bad dream about you?

I'm listening.

I-I didn't say I had one.. I said what if

Well if you ever have one about me I'll listen. You should try to sleep. We have school tomorrow. Night.

Yeah, night huckleberry