"Alot of women and young ladies are in abusive relationships, alot of them are been tortured, insulted, degraded and even molested but still they remain in it. The question here is "WHY?" Is it that you enjoy getting beaten or insulted? Or is it because you feel if you walk out, people would demean or affront you? Or is it because you feel that without a man you're nothing? Which is it? No one enjoys pain, we have feelings. People would talk, they never stopped and they never will that's just how they are, even without knowing the basis of issues. Who says without a man you're nothing? Yes it is true that at a certain stage in our lives, we need a partner to walk through with us but, no one said remain quiet even if you are been tortured. No one said to respect a man that doesn't do the same to you just because he is your husband. No one said to endure and take everything in just to save your marriage. No one said to remain loyal and submissive even when you know things are not the way they should be because if you do any of these then I tell you, you will never be happy. Without a man you are not nothing my dear sisters, you are something. You are in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh and to make good memories. Not to be constantly upset, to feel hurt and to cry." Habeebah said addressing a large hall of women and young ladies.
Her hardwork against the fight for women's right has gone far and beyond, she is one of the top best lawyers in the country. Her resilient nature has gotten her a long way as she is now been called to address women and young ladies on how to live a proper life, on what they need to know about self worth and esteem and also how to speak up for themselves because they surely have a right to.
She has also fought and won quite a few cases on behalf of women who are in abusive relationships and has no one to speak up for them. In a very short span, Habeebah has gained herself a good name and reputation. She is finally doing what she has always wanted to do and is really contented with her achievements. Both her families, friends and fellow colleagues respect her more than before and are happy for her.
"When you notice a red flag in your relationship, you quickly attend to it." She continued. "When your partner starts saying things to upset and frighten you without considering how you feel, speak up and don't be afraid. When he makes a big scene about small issues, call him to order. When he controls the finances and how you spend or swears at you and calls you names or even threatens infidelity or divorce to throw you off balance, talk to him, explain how you feel about everything and how it hurts you but if he still doesn't stop, my dear that is when you should know that he wasn't the right one."
"I was also in an abusive marriage before, I was heartbroken, scared and had a lot of anxiety. I was worried, i felt weak and I had no idea how I was ever going to come up with the strength to leave. I thought about a lot of things that could possibly happen if I had to leave. My kids would grow up without a father, what would become of me if I had to go? Would anyone listen to my own side of the story? Would they support me getting justice or rebuke me for leaving my marriage? I also thought of other things, what if I die from this torture? What would become of the children I had been doing this for? They would not be happy without their mother, I also would not like it if they weren't happy. But I just had to close my eyes and took a blind leap, I knew I had to get out of there." Habeebah narrated a bile rising in her throat.
"Just like everyone of you here, I had dreams and aspirations but couldn't achieve them at that time because I allowed my husband order me around and treat me like servants. I allowed myself to be scared of him and do as he says just to avoid any type of fights, I openly allowed him accuse me of lying and call me different type of names. We only realize the importance of our voices only when we are silenced. I should have known better that I was also powerful, I could talk, voice out my worries and welcome the fights as they come. I shouldn't have been a weakling, dancing to his tunes but I let my fears get the best of me."
YOU ARE READING
The Power Of Calmness
General Fiction"I want to become a renowned lawyer and Human Rights Activist when I do grow up." Seven year old Habeebah, happily said to her father. As time passes, we as humans tend to move closer to reality. Because, with each passing second, nothing stays stag...
