The Science Joke Book

Joke 12: Biological Banters

What message does blood have for the world?

B positive!

With that in mind, let us lighten ourselves with a bit of a diversion.

Part 1:

The following is a true story about an anatomist.

One day after sleeping badly, an anatomist went to his frog laboratory and removed from a cage one frog with white spots on its back. He placed it on a table and drew a line just in front of the frog. 

"Jump frog, jump!" he shouted. The little critter jumped two feet forward. In his lab book, the anatomist scribbled, "Frog with four legs jumps two feet."

Then, he surgically removed one leg of the frog and repeated the experiment. "Jump, jump!" To which, the frog leaped forward 1.5 feet. He wrote, "Frog with three legs jumps 1.5 feet."

Next, he removed a second leg. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog managed to jump a foot. He scribbled in his lab book, "Frog with two legs jumps one foot."

Not stopping there, the anatomist removed yet another leg. "Jump, jump!" The poor frog somehow managed to move 0.5 feet forward. The scientist wrote, "Frog with one leg jumps 0.5 feet."

Finally, he eliminated the last leg. "Jump, jump!" he shouted, encouraging forward progress for the frog. But despite all its efforts, the frog could not budge. "Jump frog, jump!" he cried again. It was no use; the frog would not respond. 

The anatomist thought for a while and then wrote in his lab book, "Frog with no legs goes deaf."

Part 2:

The government opened an official state zoo some miles inland from the Pacific Ocean. 

The government also discovered a means to make the porpoises immortal. It turned out that extending the porpoises' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat. Since the porpoises would never die, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones. 

So the director of the zoo sends an attendant down to the ocean to bring back baby sea gulls for the porpoises. 

 "I want you to go down to the seashore, grab some baby seagulls and put them in this bag. But be careful... A lion escaped from the zoo this morning, and although he was heavily sedated, he might still be dangerous. Now get going, and hurry on back!"

So the attendant takes a shortcut through the forest to the sea shore, fills the bag with gulls, and he's walking back through the forest, when he sees the lion! 

It is lying across the path directly in front of him.It is too late to run away. And the feline does seem very placid.

So, summoning up all his courage, he steps across the lion!

Nothing happens.

And so with much relief the attendant resumes his journey when all of a sudden a policeman jumps out of the forest and handcuffs him, saying, "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!!"

The baffled attendant says, "Tell me, Officer, what's the charge?"

The policeman says, "Transporting young gulls across a state lion for immoral porpoises!"

(Er, sorry, was it a typing error? I think I might have interchanged a few words from "Transporting young girls across a state line for immoral purposes!" Well, the guy was transporting young gulls across a state lion for the immortal porpoises.)

An interesting paradox (if you think about it):

We have noses that run and feet that smell.