Why do chemists like nitrates?
They are cheaper than day rates, that's why!
The Science Joke Book is an almanac of nerdy jokes to lighten and entertain yourself. Science is treated as a serious business, but it also provides scope for humour like no...
Qualified meteorologist Howard Sherlock ran up a terrible record of forecasting for the TV news programmes. He became something of a local joke when the Western Echo newspaper showed that he'd been wrong almost 300 times in a single year. Sherlock got fired.
Howard Sherlock moved to another part of the country and applied for a similar job. One blank on the job application called for the reason for leaving his previous position.
Sherlock wrote, 'The weather didn't agree with me.'
Realizing that he would become a laughing stock anyway, he decided to interject a bit of humor into his forecasts; little weather snippets, in his words.
One day, Sherlock was approached to join a comedy show for one season. He kept his part of the contract and hosted the season which gradually became a sensation. People began to like his quips for once, overlooking his failed meteorologist side
Sherlock was supposed to go back to his forecasting job. But this unexpected development changed things and the wisecrack weatherman renewed his contract.
Some of the jokes he came up are listed below. You won't need an umbrella or snow boots for these weather jokes.
1. Q) Why did the weatherman take a leave of absence after breaking both arms and both legs?
A: He would have trouble working with the four casts.
2. Q) What did the ancient Roman weatherman say when his emperor asked for a forecast?
A: "Hail, Caesar!"
3. Q) Weathermen forecasted the worst storm in over a hundred years, but it didn't hit us.
A: It was very anti-climatic.
4. Q) Meteorologists have forecast snow throughout the US for the entire year of 2020.
A: Flake news.
5. Q) Did you hear they built a nightclub on the moon?
A: It's a far out location, but it lacks atmosphere.
6. As we waited for a bus in the frosty weather, the woman next to me mentioned that she makes a lot of mistakes when texting in the cold.
I nodded knowingly. "It's the early signs of typothermia."
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7. One day in early September the chief of a Native American tribe was asked by his tribal elders how the winter was going to be. The chief decided to take a modern approach, and the chief rang the National Weather Service in Michigan.
'Yes, it is going to be a cold winter,' the meteorological officer said. Consequently, he went back to his tribe and told them to collect plenty of firewood.
A fortnight later the chief called the Weather Service for an update. 'Are you still forecasting a cold winter?' he asked.
'Yes, very cold', the weather officer told him.
The chief went back to the tribe and told his people to collect every bit of wood they could find.
A month later, the chief called the National Weather Service again.
'Yes, it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.'
'How can you be so sure?' the chief asked.
The weatherman replied, 'Because the Native Americans of the Great Lakes are collecting wood like crazy.'
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Read this short weather poem if you enjoyed these meteorology jokes.
WEATHER THE WEATHER
Whether the weather be fine
Or whether the weather be not,
Whether the weather be cold
Or whether the weather be hot,
We'll weather the weather
Whatever the weather,
Whether we like it or not.
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