I know that Peeta could tell something was off with me. I had never been any good at hiding my emotions and that was okay, just not in moments like this; these were moments where I needed to have myself collected and presentable. Even if things were not okay, I had to pull myself to act like they were.
Our walk away from the party were the few minutes left of this choke hold the Captiol had on me. These were the ticking moments, tangible to my emotions, that made me realize that I was so close to my home. I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with my mother and Prim, to close my eyes and pull the covers over my head as to forget everything for just one moment. I would allow myself tears and emotions at that point. Not until then.
We reached the edge of the square, the entourage surrounding us: Effie, Cinna, Portia, Haymitch, and both styling teams. My eyes wandered to the clock in the middle of the square, it was past midnight.
"Well everyone, tomorrow your styling teams will be ready for prep at 8 am sharp," Effie clapped her hands together as she shared her news with everyone. Effie loved being on time, I was sure more than anything at all. In order to please her, and in order for me to get home sooner, I nodded my head immediately in agreement. And just like that the group disbanded. They left Peeta and I standing there.
He stared at me, waiting until the rest were out of earshot to look me in my eyes. "What's wrong, Katniss?"
Of course I was aware he already knew something was wrong, he just didn't know what it was.
"Gale didn't show up tonight." I couldn't look him in the eyes. Maybe I was ashamed by this, but it was no need to hide anything from Peeta, I didn't feel like there needed to be secrets. He grew up and went to the same schools Gale and I went to. Peeta wasn't a fool. Gale and I are best friends, we grew this way since I was only twelve. Peeta must've seen us after classes when the final bell would ring, or together in the Seam when we passed the bakery to sell our kills.
Peeta didn't so much as flinch, nodding his head. "I noticed."
I didn't expect that to be his answer, and I let my eyes meet his. There was nothing else to say about the issue. I didn't expect there to be anything more to say.
It was almost as if it was on cue. "Katniss."
Maybe it sounded like a question at first, but then I questioned why I even considered it to be anything but a sure statement; it was Gale of course, no uncertainty there.
My heart stopped in my chest. Time seemed to slow down entirely. Gale was a piece of my life more than anything else was now; it was that part of my life that I would never get back. Now I had done the impossible, gone to the games and become a murderer, fallen in love in front of the country, abandon every form of a routine we ever had.
I could not stop my body, it was as though it was programmed to lurch forward. I sprinted the remaining distance between us and threw my arms around him. I had only ever done that once; the time we had for goodbyes before the first games. It was that moment that I had never felt more safe, I for once, felt protected. It was a feeling that made me realize that perhaps our friendship had always deserved to be more; maybe it was and neither of us had any idea of this at all.
Gale engulfed me in his arms, pulling me to his chest as I felt my body form to mold to his. My heart was pounding, my head was paused in thought of just Gale. "Gale," I sighed, the name coming out like a gasp of relief as I closed my eyes. This moment I felt at home. I was home in District 12 but all night I felt like a guest; it was here that I felt that finally I had come full circle. Gale had promised me, had assured the both of us that I would come home from the games and that was what I had to do. I did it. Here I was, and here we were.
When we both pulled back only moments later, I realized Gale had been steadying me. I pulled away and my hands were trembling, my body tilted over as I had to try and catch myself from tipping to the side.
"You're home". Gale breathed out, sounding like he had been holding in his breath for a few minutes.
"Yes," and suddenly I got defensive, "where were you? We got home this afternoon and you didn't come...even Hazelle and your siblings -"
"Katniss. It wasn't my choice". Gale's arms crossed around his chest as he looked behind me. His dark eyes reflected pieces of the light from the posts in the square. He stared right at Peeta.
He wasn't just looking at Peeta, Gale was glaring at Peeta. It was this moment that made me realize the tension that had cut our embrace apart. So much had change since Gale last saw me; everything had changed since Gale last saw me.
Peeta stood there, arms uncrossed and at his sides, hands in his pockets. His soft blue eyes recognizing the feeling in the air. "I uh- I am going to get home, see my family," Peeta smiled softly and I knew it wasn't forced, it was genuine and it was just something he would do in this situation. "Gale, it's good to see you," Peeta reached his arm, extending it past me and out to Gale.
In what only seemed like a half a second's hesitation, Gale took Peeta's hand and shook it, "I'm glad you made it back". Gale wasn't as warm. Peeta turned to leave and disappeared into the clear night.
"We should talk," Gale muttered.
"I owe you that," I nodded my head and followed him back in the direction to the Seam.
