Finding Bottom

Distance

Jimin POV

I was practically skipping down the hall back to my hotel room, flinging the door open to see Tae standing there with wide eyes, startled at my entrance.

"Wow. I take it that you had a good goodbye with Yoongi?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"Do you see, Tae? Do you understand why he makes me feel so...feel so..." I stopped, not knowing the word to use to describe how he made me feel.

"Happy? Bright? Content?" He tried to respond.

I stared at him, my eyes glazed over, smiling but not responding.

"Loved?" He asked more softly.

I sighed. "Is that what this feeling is?" I asked. "It's as if my heart is going to burst...which is like a line from a cheesy romantic comedy. Gah. I make myself sick." I laughed. "He makes me nervous and happy and sad and ... well, I jut feel like I'm experiencing every emotion possible all at the same time. Am I going crazy?" I looked at Tae.

"No, not crazy. I remember feeling this way when I was with Kook, before we confessed and became boyfriends." He sat there with a smile on his face and a far-away look in his eyes.

I rushed to add. "He says he wants to take it slow and go on a date with me. At first I thought it was because he wasn't really interested, but then he explained that he wants to build something. Something not based on sex."

"Hm." Tae looked at me as if he's trying to reason something out.

"Hm? Is that all you have to say?" I was disappointed because he wasn't sharing my enthusiasm.

"I mean...that sounds really good. It does." He looks at me smiling at first, but then his smile drops. "But wasn't it sex that drove you apart? If you're not compatible there...I mean...sex is important to you right?" he asked.

My elation slowly faded, and I sunk down onto the bed. "Yeah," I said sadly, "it's very important to me." I sat there frustrated, no longer sure why I felt so happy when I first came back to the room.

"Aw shit." I heard Tae mumble. "I didn't say that to bring you down." He must have realized he was a complete mood buster. "Dammit I'm an idiot. I can't even let my best friend have a happy moment." He sighed out, punching his hand with his fist before continuing, "Look. I just want to make sure that you address the issue. It's a great sign that Yoongi wants to build this slowly and that he wants to talk and that he wants to date. Just promise me that you'll remember to bring this up when the time is right. If it's important to you, he'll understand."

Tae continued trying to make me feel better, make me laugh, but my mood never returned to the elation I felt as Yoongi was leaving. We eventually went to sleep, and while I was still happy about Yoongi being back in my life, I suppose I was a little more cautious after my conversation with Tae.

~~~~~

After returning home to Tae and Kook's place, I tried to resume my somewhat normal routine. Neither Tae nor Kook pushed me to talk about anything regarding Yoongi, and I was too busy with work to bring it up.

When I took my new job, I had intentionally asked for longer hours, wanting both the overtime and the activity to keep my mind busy. I had discovered an area of nursing care that I really loved, and the extra work didn't feel like a burden. And when I wasn't at work, I was sleeping, exhausted from the physical and emotional toll of my day.

Yoongi and I hadn't been ignoring each other per se. We sent good morning or good night texts, a hello here and there, but nothing meaningful. I had been back for three days and they moved quickly, but also felt like an eternity. I was missing Yoongi, almost feeling as sad as when I left him the first time. But this time, I reminded myself, I had a way to get in touch with him, and he wanted to hear from me...I think.