Finding Bottom

I'm Not Patient

Jimin POV

I just sat there and took Yoongi's venom with my head bowed. I couldn't tell Yoongi my true feelings – that I am more than attracted to him. My time with Tae and Kook made me realize that I have feelings for Yoongi. He has a good heart and the capacity for love. But I am only here for a limited time, and Yoongi will resume his career. He's not really interested in me. He made that clear with what he said – he's horny and I'm readily available.

Sometime soon all the new art he is creating will get released and our paths will not continue in the same direction. I can't let my heart get further invested, especially when he's only looking for a lay. It will be easiest if I keep our interactions professional. It would be easier for both of us when it is time to move on to a new assignment.

With all of that swirling around in my head, I stood up from the chair, forcing Yoongi to straighten as well, our faces so close I had to restrain myself from erasing the slight distance between our lips. I could feel tension radiating from both of us, in the form of both anger and lust. The band I was holding on my emotions and my desire was stretched thin and could snap in less than a second.

After taking a couple of calming breaths I was finally able to focus on my words, "Cute, but Hoseok hired me, you can't dismiss me. Take it up with Hoseok." I took a step closer to him, forcing him to back up, then turned on my heel and walked to my room, taking more deep breaths on the way.

Within 10 seconds of shutting my door, my phone alerted me that Yoongi left the apartment. I knew that the anger Yoongi displayed, and the fact that he so recently drank, was enough to drive him right back to a bar. I should follow him, but as I began to reach for the doorknob, I felt warm tears escaping down my face. "Dammit, I HATE crying." I said frustratedly, "especially over someone I can't allow myself to feel anything for." Instead, I texted Hoseok.

J: Hey
J: Yoongi left the apartment angry
J: I can't go after him this second
J: Can you check in on him?

H: What happened?

J: He tried to fire me

H: What? Why?

J: Long story
J: Just please make sure he's OK
J: I'll go after him in a bit

After sending that last text, I wished I could take it back. The please sounded so desperate. I just hoped that Hoseok wouldn't think twice about it. Then, I let myself cry. Cry in sadness for hurting Yoongi, cry in anger because Yoongi didn't want anything more than sex, cry out of frustration for not being able to do what I want. I allowed myself to cry out the feelings, and then I tried to pull myself together. I rinsed my face with cold water, attempting to reduce the swelling in my eyes. With a deep sigh I fixed my hair, put on some lip gloss, and grabbed my phone to track Yoongi and see where he was. When I headed out the door, I realized all of that took longer than I expected, because it was dark when I reached Yoongi's studio.

Hoseok shared all the passcodes with me, so after a bit of searching I was able to find the note with the code to get into the studio. I walked in but didn't see Yoongi anywhere. As I stepped further into the studio, I continued to check my phone, and confirmed that this is where the GPS had last located Yoongi. I was just about to text Hoseok again when I heard an exhale from the couch. It was dark outside, and the lights were dim in the studio, so it wasn't hard to believe that I initially missed Yoongi asleep on the black couch, curled on his side, shiny dark hair covering his face, with a black blanket covering him.

I stood staring at him for a while, making sure he was deeply asleep. I let out a soft, "Yoongi?" to see if he would respond, but his breathing pattern never changed. Assured that he was asleep, I took this opportunity to snoop around a little. I rationalized that I needed to search for evidence of him drinking since it was my job to make sure Yoongi stayed on track with his sobriety.