LOVE OR HOPE?

Chapter Twenty-Three

If you could read my mind; you'd be in tears- Unknown.

The alarm rang so loudly that my head ached from the noise. I grunted and stretched my hand lazily to turn it off,It was 6:00 in the evening and we were heading towards Norman's party,He assured us that it was not exactly a party since he figured out that I disliked being in parties,It was just going to be him, Kyle,Mia,Tracey,Conor and I,I hope.

It was his birthday anyways and it would be evil of me if I skipped his since he was supposedly one of the biggest donors of my birthday party and trust me, as much as I hated that party,It was everything you ever wanted.

I slid on my loose green cotton shirt which weirdly reminded me of Harold's eyes and I wore a black skirt with a zipper at the side. I couldn't afford to let anyone stare mysteriously at me. Though I urinate a bit more than usual since I started going to school,but no one suspected anything. My clothes were always too loose for anyone to even notice that I was pregnant.

It's the third week of my third month carrying this bastard and my stubbornness in refusing to tell my friends about the owner of my pregnancy. Mia and Tracey had perfect dads and I would sound stupid and weird if I told them that my stepfather raped me. I won't be able to bear how they would look at me, would they believe me and pity me or would they suspiciously think that I seduced him to sleep with me? I wanted neither of the options and if they think I have some mysterious boyfriend that I haven't opened up to them about,why should I spoil their fantasy for them?

My misery increase every damn day and I really can't remember the last time I smiled without faking it or because I was forcefully trying to end a conversation. I moved closer to the mirror and gazed at my swollen eyes and pale cheeks,I dabbed the foundation slightly on my face,applied light pink gloss on my lips, sharpened my eyelashes with mascara and drew my eyebrows into a perfect arc.I looked so much better and I almost didn't recognize myself.

"I really don't deserve to look this pretty." I found myself muttering my thoughts out loud. I divided my hair and packed my hair into two buns,leaving some curly fringe at the front and put on a necklace with a thunderbolt pendant.

The door opened and I saw Tracey with all of her glory step into my room,she closed the door behind her quietly and turned to face me.

"How do I look?" She said as she twirled around and smiled. Looking at her made me feel intimidated but my indifferent ass soon took over and I was soon blank again.

"You look gorgeous" I mouthed and it was the plain truth. Tracey was putting on a white and tight off shoulder gown that stopped right in the middle of her thighs,she had on a beautiful red and expensive jewelery that was embedded on her neck,it was as red as her very high heels and her flashy red lipstick that was smiling at me even from a distance. There was also a hint of red hair that had been dyed here and there and it looked like she had personally wasted a lot of hours learning make up tutorials on YouTube. She looked so- different.

"You look so good too. You hardly ever use make up. See how pretty you look!" She gushed,with a little too much drama.

"Thank you" I managed to reply,though I still felt like I looked like shit but then, maybe I had interchanged what I was on the inside for the outside.

"Ready?"

"Absolutely."

"Mia's been waiting for us" Tracey opened the door again,I stood up to follow her but I stopped when my phone buzzed. It was a text from Gillian.

*PREGNANT!! WOAH!! TERRIBLY DISSAPOINTED AND SHOCKED.*

I glued on the spot,stunned.

"Are you okay,Aly?" Tracey called from the door.