LOVE OR HOPE?

Chapter Twenty-One

"The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain; It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared." - Lois Lowry.

No. No. No.
I couldn't let it happen again, with the knife below my throat, I still made effort to reach under the bed and get a glass bottle but he violently yanked the sharp knife and cut the outer skin of my neck that started bleeding immediately, he made effort to repeat the same thing on another spot and I screamed wildly.

HELP!!!!!

The door flung open and Diane swiftly switched on the lights. Miss Marie shook me and I blinked my eyes twice to wear off my blurry vision that was caused by my tear filled eyes. This was my third week in Tracey's home and my fifth nightmare so far. I looked around and saw the three of them in their pyjamas, looking grumpy and sleepy but still trying to put on a caring face.

"It's okay,dear. It's all fine now" Miss Marie touched my cheeks gently and sat beside me on the bed.

Tracey walked closer to the windows and picked up the teddy bear that i had thrown to the corner three weeks ago and handed it over to me.

"It helps a lot." She said.

"I'm eighteen" I spoke in low tones,tiredly.

" Doesn't matter. As long as you still get nightmares that you don't ever want to talk about,this could help" She tucked it beside me.

"Do you need water or anything?" Diane asked,resting her back on the wall with her arms folded.

"No. I'm so sorry for waking you up" I looked around at all of them. They really didn't deserve this,they were helping me to live comfortably and I just had to repay them by being a loud alarm that wakes them up at midnight.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Miss Marie asked.

I shook my head slowly like a lost child.

"Okay, dear. I think I know someone who might help you deal with this" She stated.

"Who?" Wearily, my eyes bored into hers.

"Go to sleep now. We'll talk later in the morning." Miss Marie got up, smiling. Tracey and Diane took it as their cue to leave.

"Please, don't bring me a therapist. I'm fine." I whispered from behind as she switched off the lights and held on to the door handle.

"I'm bringing in someone better." She replied and shut the door.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Mom?" I questioned,raising my eyebrows as Miss Marie led me down the stairs,stating that someone was here to see me.

My Mom sat on one of the chairs,she was getting so slim,I watched her thin frame from behind and her once black and beautiful hair was looking unkempt with a bit of gray hair here and there that were not bothered to be hidden.

She stopped watching TV and faced me.

"I'll leave you two now" Miss Marie said as she made her way into the kitchen,

"Thank you,Marie"

"Anytime"She smiled at my mother and patted my back.

"Alyssa"

"Mom"

I walked slowly into the living room and sat down to face her.

"You haven't been home" She said.
Was that emotions in her voice or I was imagining things?