LOVE OR HOPE?

Chapter Fourteen

TWO WEEKS.

She came into my room and closed the door quietly, she removed her heels and flung it to a corner in my room. She took off her jacket, clung it to her chest and sat on the edge of my bed.

I sat up gently and dragged the covers up to my shoulders, I stared at her, waiting for her to speak.

"Did he come home?"

I shook my head.

She threw her jacket on the floor and her eyes clouded with tears and anger.

" What the hell have you done?!"

I looked at her, confused and quietly said " What do you mean?"

"What do I mean?" She laughed sadly "What did you tell him? What did you say that pissed him off?"

"I didn't tell him nothing, mum."

" He has not been home for two weeks!" She yelled and got up from the bed, glaring at me."And you want me to believe that you told him nothing?!"

"I fucking didn't say anything to him!" I shouted  back.

"Two weeks Alyssa! Two Goddamned weeks! Do you know what that means?"

Yeah I do,we get poorer by the day. We couldn't depend on the little change that she earned as a waitress and we needed him and his money but that was then. Now I don't,I hate him so Fucking much that I hope he dies wherever he is and he never returns.

"You'd better do something about it. I don't know what the hell you could have told him that has made him to stop coming home but I greatly suggest that you call your dad and make him come back here this instant!"

I threw the covers away and got up to face her.
"He is not my dad!" I pointed a finger at her "He is not my Fucking dad,you hear me? Don't ever call your drunk and useless husband my Fucking dad,you-?"

She raised her hand and slapped me so hard with tears rolling down her pale cheeks.

"Don't you ever talk to me that way, Alyssa!"

I touched the spot she had slapped me and grunted.

"You have to bring him back home"

"Oh really?" I was getting angrier by the moment, it was a strange feeling cause I was no longer in control of my emotions. "Might interest you to know that I hope he dies wherever he is! He should Burnnnn and dieeee-"

She slapped me again, this time it was harder than the earlier one, she had used so much anger and pain that I was causing her. She started crying uncontrollably.

"Stop talking Alyssa!" She screamed at me with her cracking voice.

I opened the door of my room and loudly closed it behind me. I slipped down slowly and face palmed my face to let the tears I've been holding in stream down my cheeks.

*************************************

It was more than three hours already and I wasn't aware of the time mom stepped out of my room and tapped me gently to wake up. I was fast asleep on one of the sofas and I struggled to keep my eyes open,the drained face I was staring at reminded me that all that happened was not a mere dream.

"Hey" she muttered, her voice was getting clearer but her eyes still looked like there were tears that was still lingering around to fall off from her face.

I wanted to speak but I could not. I was not just physically weak but emotionally down as well.

"I'm really sorry, baby" the tears began to fall off. She tried to bite in her lips tightly and held my hands. "I'm really sorry."

I nodded and slipped my hands off of hers. It was something that had become part of me, I disliked holding hands with people because it almost felt like there was still hope for me amidst all of these and really, there wasn't. What was the essence of feeling it for just a minute when it wouldn't last forever?

"It's okay."

"I Know it's not okay Alyssa. I hurt you so bad and I'm so sorry. Please forgive me baby." She looked at me with pleading eyes.

"It's fine, Mum. It is. "

" I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I was just more worried about you, you know? I really don't want you to lack anything!, Anything at all. I'm always afraid that in some way or the other, you may end up like me." She breathed deeply " And I don't want you to, Alyssa. I want a brighter future for you. I want you to have everything" She added.

Have everything?
I don't even have a home to start with nor a real family. I've never felt loved nor have I loved someone and she thinks I can have everything?

"I understand." I forced a smile at her.

" Did you quarrel with him? " She asked in a low tone.

" No I didn't."

"Did he tell you that he won't be coming home for weeks?"

" No."

She sighed.
" He's not picking up his calls." She stood up and started pacing about.

"I don't know what to do Alyssa. How are we going to live without him?"

I kept mute.

She grabbed her keys.

" Where are you going?"

" I need to clear my head." She walked out of the house.

I knew she was going to drink and probably hang over till the next morning.

What kind of life is this? Why did it have to be me? I had so many questions for God, if he was real as the church said he is.

I needed so many fucking answers. And if he won't answer them, all I need was for him to do at least one thing for me.

Make. Joseph. Die!

.

.

.

.

VOTEEEEE!!!!!!!
AND COMMENT!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR SUPPORT 😋😋
THE RANKINGS ARE PRETTY MUCH IMPRESSIVE.

THANK YOU!🖤🖤