𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐬 ¦ vmin

milky clouds

chapter 12;; milky clouds

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A week had already passed and Taehyung hadn't heard anything of Jimin since last Saturday. No texts, no confrontations: nothing.

He didn't know why he was thinking of him at this time of night, anyway. It was 3:06 am and he had a crammed Monday ahead of him, but his nocturnal brain held him awake.

The milky clouds seemed just as tired as he was. They were heavy and grey, looking as though they were ready to pour any second, not being able to hold it in anymore.

Somehow, it reminded him of himself. Maybe he'd look like that in a few months time when his emotions demanded to be set free, though he would still refuse to unscrew the lid.

He could have heavy, fossil-tinged bags hanging under his eyes, just like the clouds outside his window in the denim sky.

But, every time the clouds would release their problems onto everyone, they'd be soon remade, undoubtedly. It's a never ending cycle for them and they just seem to let it happen. Maybe it's because they know when they finally let them all out, the sun seems to be more elegant and it's smile is more gentle.

Taehyung assumed the reason was because they no longer felt burdened and excluded from Earth by the clouds. It must've felt useless, for it finds pleasure in being the reason crowds swarm to beaches and children squeal upon hearing the ice cream truck, begging their parents to buy them a half-melted popsicle. It just wants to make people happy, but the clouds don't allow it to.

Taehyung felt like he was thinking too deeply into it, but for some reason, he related to the sky.

The sun inside him was still very much there, but he felt like sometimes his worries and his slight obsession with Jungkook acted like the clouds. It was true that he often felt disappointed after thinking about how he always needed to beg for attention.

It was slightly embarrassing that his friends were aware that he practically needed to be noticed, and whenever they showered him with affection, he couldn't help but wonder whether they'd do it even if he wasn't an absolute whore for attention.

Did they even want to be his friend, or did they feel obliged to, considering him and Jungkook came as a pair? Taehyung often thought he didn't have much to offer to the friendship as the others did: he didn't have Seokjin's maturity. He wasn't able to look after people the same way they looked after him, and he could never think sensibly.

He didn't have Namjoon's heart or Hoseok's selflessness. The homeless weren't on his mind every Christmas holiday like they were on his hyung's, and he didn't spend his free time helping the elderly with their shopping. His advice was often wrong and would most likely worsen the situation.

He didn't have Yoongi's patience or Jungkook's energy. Yoongi was like a soft teddy. If anyone was sad, he was there for them in an instant. He wouldn't force anything out of them until they were ready. Instead, he'd sit next to them and keep them company, not wanting them to feel lonely.

It was almost a talent how Jungkook could brighten up any place he stepped his foot into. Taehyung could almost see the happy rays of yellow and gold emitting off him whenever he smiled, walked, breathed.

All Taehyung offered was protection.

His friends even compared him to a guard dog- soft and sappy around his them, though vicious to outsiders.

They said they found it funny and endearing, but Taehyung wasn't sure if they meant it.

What they didn't know was he protected them for his own good, as well. If someone were to sneak their way into their friend circle, he might be replaced. He could even be forgotten and that would shatter him.