Feeling the Fire

Chapter Twelve

"A.L.I.E. will come once she realizes we're here," Raven said.

"Why?"

Raven turned to Clarke, "To kill me, and all of you now that you know."

"Know what?"

"A.L.I.E. wants the Flame is because it's the only thing that can destroy her," Raven said, "So we need to find Luna."

I sighed, "We can find Luna. But promise me you won't force the Flame on her. If she doesn't want it, you give it to me."

"Deal," Clarke nodded.

"I'll grab Lincoln's notebook," Octavia told us. Jasper went with her to make sure she wasn't alone.

Raven and Sinclair got to work on improving the rover or something. Bellamy kept watch outside while Clarke and Monty walked around the Ark for some random reason.

I decided since Bellamy was the only person without anyone to watch his back, I'd stay on watch with him.

Besides, I couldn't stand being in Arkadia, and I couldn't make myself walk inside the Ark.

"Lincoln died here," I said. His body was still on the floor.

"I'm sorry-"

I shook my head, "Can we just not talk?" I sat down on a spare chair.

Bellamy nodded.

A few minutes later, he frowned, "I'm sorry about the army, about arresting you, about Lincoln. I know you wanted a home, and that's what Arkadia was, and I helped destroy that."

"What happened to not talking?" I couldn't even look at him.

"Can you tell me how to make up for it?"

A tear slid down my cheek, "He was nineteen. A Mount Weather security guard by the name of Carl Emerson put a bullet in his heart. He bled out in my arms, and I couldn't save him."

Bellamy stayed silent, trying to figure out why I was talking about Kadian.

"I thought I had come to terms with his death, but what Raven said- I know it wasn't really Raven, but it just made me think," I continued, "of how everyone close to me ends up dead, and I'm never strong enough or smart enough to save them."

I couldn't stop the tears anymore, "You remind me of him. And most of the time, I don't notice. But sometimes I can't even look at you or hear your voice without seeing him there, bleeding."

He sat there in stunned silence, "When I said I was scared of you, part of it was what you'd done. But I'm terrified of that happening to you, not being able to stop it."

"I'm not going anywhere," he wrapped one arm around me.

"That's the problem," I said, "People that get close to me always get hurt or killed. You need to stay away because I can't live with myself if anything happens to you, or any of them."

Bellamy stopped me, "Hey. You were on your own for twelve years, but this is life. There are always going to be people who care about you, and you can't always protect them."

"He died in front of me," I couldn't stop the flood of tears, "I wasn't fast enough to stop it, or smart enough to fix it. I wasn't strong enough-"

"You were seven years old," Bellamy said, "You survives twelve years alone in the woods. You were strong enough to kill, fast enough to run, smart enough to know when to do either. You are the bravest person I know. So stop blaming yourself for what this Carl Emerson guy did."

I nodded silently, wiping the tears from my eyes. Within a few moments, my face had retained it's normal color and expression.

While shivering in the rain I hadn't noticed, "Wow it's freezing out here."

I had burned the guard jacket, so I just had the sleeveless leather one and the vest underneath.

Thankfully, Clarke came running out, "It's Emerson. He has the others, I tried to warn them, but Sinclair's dead."

"Emerson?" I asked. The man who shot Kadian, "If he's here, I will kill him, slowly and painfully."

"He tried to kill Lexa and I, and was the one shooting after the bomb in Tondc," Clarke said, "If you want to kill him, get in line."

Bellamy took a deep breath, "We need a plan."

"I have one," Clarke grinned.

We walked to the main control room where Clarke arranged to turn herself in. We then headed to the airlock.

Bellamy hid behind one corner behind Clarke. As Emerson moved forward, I slipped down the side passage.

I didn't hear much of the conversation, other than the plan to suck the air out of everyone's lungs in the airlock.

Great.

Octavia's life was on the line, so Bellamy complied.

But he didn't let her go.

Instead, he closed the airlock and began suffocating them.

Clarke lunged at the button, and I fought Emerson long enough for her to open the airlock.

The man quickly overpowered me by brute force and strength. I was pinned to the wall when Clarke got the airlock open.

That distracted Emerson.

She unchained Bellamy first, then atarted on the others, but thought I was in trouble, so she attacked Emerson.

He threw her into the nearest wall, but Bellamy shouted, "Pick on someone your own size."

Emerson was definitely bigger than Bellamy.

The man had a gun aimed at Bellamy. As his finger tightened on the trigger, I didn't think.

I watched this man kill Kadian. I hadn't been fast enough then. I would be now.

I dove into the way. There were three loud bangs before Clarke implanted the Flame in his neck using a key phrase.

He wasn't a nightblood, so it killed him.

Clarke then unchained everyone else. The world began spinning, I felt my stomach, which stung a little.

When I looked at my hand, it was covered in inky black blood.

Bellamy was there holding me up when my legs gave way. He got Clarke's attention.

"Miller, Bryan, Harper," she commanded the three members of the guard who Emerson had probably caught outside camp, "Spread out and find a first aid kit."

She turned to the others, "Jasper, Monty, try to find some sort of painkiller drug. Octavia, grab a stretcher. Bellamy, stop the bleeding. Sky, please try not to die. I'll set up the med bay. When Octavia comes back with the stretcher, the two of you carry her there."

Everyone obeyed instantly.

My vision was blurred, and narrowed to a tunnel, "Stay awake. Stay awake."

I focused on Bellamy's voice and kept my eyes open.

But if I was going to die, I guess I did go out with a bang. Or three.

It felt too soon to be making jokes about that. And I wasn't going to die.

Not today, at least.

All I had to do was hang on a little longer. Octavia couldn't find a stretcher, so Bellamy carried me to the med bay.

Clarke removed the bullets and stitched me back together. She then gave me a drug to make me sleep.

The world was spinning. My mind was pushing through honey to stay awake. It would be so easy to just close my eyes.

Just a minute.

I'd only be asleep a minute.

I just needed a minute.