everything i wanted (COMPLETED)

Chapter 1

I had a dream I got everything I wanted

My alarm woke me up. I dreaded the day as usual. I slipped out from under the covers and went to my closet to pick out my clothes for the day. It's always the same thing; A hoodie and a pair jeans.

There's a reason why it's always the same. I have what you call depression. And it basically all started in 5th grade at least.

Boys always said I was ugly for some reason. They called me names like dipshit and idiot and faggot. They even had their own personal name for me; Elephant Seal.

They bullied me, technically. Girls, on the other hand. I thought I was friends with a couple but, boy was I wrong.

I remember walking up to my "friend" Audrey. I asked why she hadn't invited me to her birthday sleepover yet and she looked at the two other girls next to her. And she said, "Why would I invite you, faggot? We're not even friends."

No one liked me. It was like I was a burden to everyone at school. And as all this went on it just caused me to become sad everyday, all the time.

My parents noticed this and took me to a doctor. That's when I got diagnosed with depression.

Now that I'm a Sophomore in High School things are a bit different, more harsh.

I don't deal with depression. I don't know how. All I can do is sit in my room and cry about how I'm not good enough and how I'll never be enough for anyone.

My parents are always worried about me. They're always asking meaningless questions. They're the only people who care besides the only person I hang out with, Tom.

I guess you could say me and Tom are friends. He cares about me more than I care about him. He'll do anything and everything he can to make sure I feel good at least. I enjoy his company sometimes but I also want him gone, too.

Just as I finished up brushing my teeth my mom came into the bathroom. "Sweetie, your friend is here."

"Ok." I said softly.

I went into my room and grabbed my backpack. As I came down the stairs, Tom became more visible. He greeted me with his smile like he always did and I returned it by giving him a quick soft grin.

"Later, mom. Bye dad." I shouted as I opened the door to walk out.

Tom closed the door behind him and began walking down the sidewalk with me.

"So how'd you sleep?" Tom asked.

"Barley. I just stared at the ceiling practically the whole night."

"Well, what were thinking about then?"

"When life will get better."

"Oh." Tom whispered. "Well, you never know, today might be good."

"You say that everyday, Tom." I told him as we started walking out the neighborhood. "And it's never true."

Tom looked down at his moving feet like I had hurt his feelings. He never stopped asking questions. He'd always check up on me. "Did you have any dreams?"

I smiled at the thought of the quick dream I had last night. "I dreamed I ruled the world. And that anyone and everyone who bullied me were my slaves and bowed before me. But you ruled by my side." I said and I finally look at him for the first time on this walk, meeting his milk chocolate eyes that brightened in the sunlight.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"That sounds like a great dream." He said.

"It's all I'll ever want. To see the people feel the pain they made me feel."

"There's nothing you have to prove to them, Y/n. You know that, right."

We stopped at the cross walk and I pressed the button and waited for the sign to tell us we were able to walk.

"I guess." I said blandly. "But it would feel good to have them feel what I've been through, you know."

"I know it would. But why would you need to make them feel it when you could be friends with me and be happy." Tom smiled.

The sign across the street gave us the go to walk and I did so. "Who said I was happy?"