everything i wanted (COMPLETED)

Chapter 8

Don't wanna lie here but you can learn to

Your POV

After Tom had calmed me down, he decided to stay for a bit longer in case I broke down again.

Tom is a good person, inside and out. He cares about me in a way that no one, besides my parents, has. He's always tries to make me smile. He's always spending his time with me. Maybe his life would be different if he hadn't met me?

"You know I didn't ask to be this way." I told Tom while looking down at my hands.

"What?"

"I never wanted to have depression. I wanted to be happy and live my life."

"I know." Tom whispered.

I took a deep breath before talking again. "Is being normal fun, Tom?"

"Y/n, you are normal." He kept his gaze on me even though I wouldn't look at him.

"Normal people don't have a mental illness, Tom."

"Just because you have a mental illness doesn't mean you're not normal. It's ok to be sad, it's ok to break down sometimes. Everyone does both of those things."

"Ok. Yeah, you're right. But I learned to deal with it. Even if I didn't want to be like this I learned that this is who I am now and nothing can change that."

"You can change, Y/n.

"There's nothing to change, Tom. You can't just unfix this." I said waving my hands over my body. "I'm a mess."

"You're my mess, Y/n. Do you know how hard I try to help you everyday? How much confidence and hope I have for you. There are some days where I say to myself 'this is it, I'm gonna get her to smile.' And then someone comes and ruins lunch for you causing that to ruin your entire day and you hadn't even smiled yet." Tom's eyes stilled glued to me, while I still looked down at my fingers. "I've only seen it a couple times." He said softly. "And I really want to see it more often."

"Tom-" I whispered finally looking up at his brown eyes, my eyes becoming glossy at his words. "Why do you care so much? You could've picked anyone in the school to be friends and you chose me; a girl with depression that nobody likes. Most people at school like you. They like when you're not seen with me. Why would you let me ruin your life?"

"You're not ruining anything, Y/n. I don't care if people like me when I'm with you or when I'm not with you. If I want to stand by your side then I'm going to."

I felt a tear fall down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. "I don't want you to waste your time on me. You're trying to help me, I'm trying to help you."

"I'm not wasting my time. If being with you and helping you find your happiness again is what I want to do then I'm going to do it. There's nothing I would change about you. I just want you to be happy again."

"And I just want you to go live your life. Go find the girl of your dreams. Don't spend your time trying to fix a broken girl. It will take a miracle to try and make me that little girl I was before." I said as another tear fell from my eye as Tom and I stared at each other intently.

"If a miracle is what it takes," he scooted closer to me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and cupped the back of my head with his hand gently caressing my soft kinky hair while my head rested on his shoulder. "Then a miracle is what we'll get."