adore you // [h.s]

48

Harry

Saying goodbye to my family was always the hardest part of coming back home. I always felt like I didn't have enough time with them. I guess that's normal when you only see them a handful of times a year. There's no amount of time that can make up for all the moments missed.

My mom and sister made me promise that I would bring Audrey back for Christmas. They both kept going on and on about how amazing she was, and I couldn't blame them. I knew they would fall in love with Audrey, it's hard not to.

I was a little worried about how Audrey would feel about them, especially Gemma because she's so straight forward, but she told me that she loved them. She admitted that she was so nervous at first which it was obvious. She forgot her own name when she went to introduce herself to my mom. She stood there like a deer in headlights, poor thing.

Once Audrey warmed up to everybody, she took the time to learn about everyone. She asked questions about my mom's younger years as well as Gemma's. It made me so happy to see her trying to build a relationship with them. Audrey took the things that were important to me and made them important to her.

I've never had someone care so much.

Audrey involved herself in my life and in my music. She wanted to know every single detail, not missing a thing. Whenever she stayed at the studio with me, she would ask as many questions as she could about the song or the instruments we were using. I can remember her being so timid around everyone at first, but then she started to suggest what would make the song more appealing.

I didn't know if Audrey ever noticed but 96% of the songs on the new album are about her. She has been such an inspiration to me. She has taught me that it's okay to be vulnerable despite how many times you've been hurt. She's taught me to cherish the small things like baking cookies at 3 am or treating the kitchen like it's a dance floor.

All I wanted to do was cherish every single moment spent with her. I found any reason to be with her even if it was a five-minute shower before I hurried off to the studio or before we both collapsed from exhaustion. I wanted to be next to her. I didn't feel so alone when I stood beside her.

For years, I walked alone in this world. It didn't matter how many friends or bodyguards I had around me, I was lonely. I never had someone that made me feel alive, someone that didn't make me feel like a wallflower. Audrey walked into my life with adventure in her eyes. She brought so much color to my gray life.

Audrey begged me to take her sightseeing on our last day in England. As much as I wanted to lay in this bed a little bit longer, I wasn't going to deny her of an adventure. Besides, she used those damn eyes of hers to get her way.

The drive from Holmes Chapel to London wasn't long, a little over three hours. We hadn't been in the car that long, but Audrey was already becoming restless. She kept skipping through songs and dancing. I wasn't complaining, at all, I would just like to listen to a song all the way through.

"I have a song suggestion," I announced while Audrey mindlessly skipped through songs. She glanced over at me to let me know she was listening, "'Who Am I' by NEEDTOBREATHE.

While I'm on this road you take my hand
Somehow you really love who I really am
I push you away, still, you won't let go
You grow your roses on my barren soul

Who am I, who am I, who am I
To be loved by you
(Who Am I - NEEDTOBREATHE)

This song reminded me of Audrey in a way. There's a line in the song that says, 'no one should ever love me like you do.' I feel that way whenever I look at Audrey. I didn't deserve her love. I pushed her away time and time again. I have even considered leaving her, granite she doesn't know about that but still.