We're Not Sleeping, We're Just Dreaming (Waterparks fanfic)

Nineteen - Awsten

My exhausted body slumped in the chair in the hospital room, my legs flung over one of the arms, my back resting on my backpack propped up against the other arm, providing some comfort so I could get some rest, no matter how terrible the quality of my sleep. With heavy eyes, I sighed, tired like I never had been before. At first the thought of sleeping seemed selfish but the guilt passed me by when I was assured by Geoff that nothing is going to change quickly - we are simply waiting. I guess he was right, I thought to myself, readjusting my posture in the chair to resume my nap, the consistent, continuous beep of the various monitors in the room becoming nothing more than soothing white noise as my head begged me to rest.

I don't know how long I was asleep for before I heard a whining and pinging sound, a mechanical sound, disturbing me from my sleep - what? What is it now? I groaned, my mind still exhausted and unable to process as I sat up in the chair and rubbed the sleep from my face, opening my tired eyes.

"Awsten, we need to go. Now."

Geoff was kneeling in front of me. Confused, I took a moment and looked around before immediately regretting my actions - Keon was dying. His face pale, still lifeless and void of emotion or expression, but his chest rising at a more rapid speed, panicked, struggling, the monitors going crazy. I was paralysed in my chair, unable to look away, as I helplessly watched various uniformed men and women tending to the machines, rushing around, words shouted, equipment exchanged and passed through hands and moved...

"Awsten, now!"

Geoff. And Otto. Geoff's hand on my knee, Otto pulling at my hand, as I managed to gain control and rush out of the room with them. I took a moment to breathe, trying to process what was happening. I felt a pair of arms around my shoulders and a chin rest on one side of my head - Geoff, hugging me.

"Let them do their jobs. We have to let them work. They know what to do."

Tears began to fall from my eyes, I couldn't stop them, I didn't even try. Panic began to overwhelm me, a consuming, rising force rushing through every inch of me as I began to tremble in anxious fear.

"But...they said...they said he was better! And YOU said that nothing would happen if I went to sleep and now he's going to die!"

I felt Geoff's hand come up behind my head, his fingers gently intertwined with my hair.

"Better than when he came in...but you've got to understand he is still very ill, Awsten."

Rage bubbled inside of me, consuming every thought.

"They said that it would only be a few days! They promised. They fucking promised, Geoff."

I felt him move his arms underneath mine and gently lift me into one of the chairs, the plastic uncomfortable ones, situated in the corridor outside his room we now found ourselves stood in. I slumped in the chair, exhausted and devastated, the tears streaming in rivers down my cheeks as my heart began to ache in its cavity within my chest and my hands reached up to grip at my hair, my elbows resting on my thighs. I felt Otto's arm reach around my shoulders as he lowered himself into the chair next to me.

"Awsten, you know they can't promise anything. They are trying to make him better but they can't say anything for certain."

Otto's words went right through me, my fingers pulling at my hair until it hurt. 

"It's been two fucking days, Otto, and he's still not right. What if he never comes back? What if they've put him to sleep and that's it?". The panic in me kept rising and I started to lose my breath, erratic and shallow, my head pounding as the tears fell rapidly from the corners of my eyes, my throat becoming hoarse, scratched and dry. I was so exhausted yet I felt like I would never be able to sleep again. Otto's grip around my shoulders tightened, before I heard the latch on the door release. A single uniformed nurse, a man, fairly young looking with quiffed brown hair and large metal frames balancing on his nose and ears precariously. Behind him, a familiar figure I could make out through the tears partially blinding my sight.

"Hey, are you...uh..." - he peered at his clipboard - "Awsten?"

I couldn't answer him, my heart still pounding as I doubled over in pain from the panic rattling through my whole body, as I trembled where I sat. I was afraid that if Otto let go, I would fall forward and completely give out on the floor of this hospital corridor. Every part of me trembled and shook, even my eyes in their sockets, my hands shaking so much I could barely keep a grip on my hair. Otto nodded gently on my behalf.

"Hey buddy, I think we should go find somewhere quiet for you to calm down a bit, how does that sound? This looks like a really nasty panic attack..."

I stared, the panic still washing over me in intense waves - the man's voice felt genuine, though the anxious side of me remained sceptical. My fingers wrapped in my hair began to ease their grip, though my whole body still shook, a feeling of overwhelming dizziness consuming my existence as my body began to sway forward - I suddenly felt Geoff's hands against my shoulders, holding me largely upright as I struggled to process my surroundings. My arms fell to the side, weak and trembling, my head pounding. I felt a hand come over mine and reach for my wrist, two fingers gently pressing. 

"No wonder you're shaking, your heart is going a mile a minute...if it's okay, I just want to check that you're alright and see if we can make you feel a bit better."

I groaned, the light of the corridor beginning to burn in my sore, tear-blinded eyes. Through the haze I could see Geoff, his bright eyes studying every inch of my face, before he moved to place his arms under my right arm. I felt Otto's arm come away from my shoulders and slide under the left 

"Awsten?"

I mumbled in response to Geoff's voice.

"We're gonna carry you to a room to calm down, okay? Jawn's gonna help you calm down before you pass out."

I murmured, my chest aching from the rapid breathing that I just couldn't stop. Jawn? Who's that? The nurse? 

"Ready?"

I nodded gently, which was all I could manage.

"One...two...three."