Falcon's Flight

Eighteen

“Perhaps in China, that is the case. But we are not in China and I am not Chinese.”
“You’re not even entirely human.”
“No, I’m not. But I cannot say you would not be a good bride. Even despite the fact that you cannot ride very well, you’re willing to fight. You can make arrows and use a knife. In times such as now, should the Chinese venture here and attack us, a lot of women would be able to fight to protect themselves and their families,” he said.

Fen wasn’t sure how to feel at the reminder of what had happened at the Imperial Palace. Everything had happened so fast but there was a painful reminder of why she could never return to China.
“I can’t fight, I can’t ride,” she pointed out. She wasn’t even particularly strong.
“You asked to fight,” he said and Fen could remember asking him after they had left the city but before returning to save Hayabusa. “And I agreed to it which we will have to return to at some point. And if you want to stay with us, riding is a necessity. Women here are more than property.”

Fen wished she could have argued that she had been more than property but she couldn’t deny it. She had tried convincing herself for so long that she could find a man who cared about her ramblings and opinions and not just for her dowry or cooking and tea making skills. Or even her ability to have a son. Her mother had said the matchmaker couldn’t find a man because there wasn’t a man good enough but she knew the real reason.

“Most women here take care of the herding and help with the putting up and taking down of these tents as well as making the felt for them. They raise children and teach them and fight. Some of the tribes have some very good female warriors, perhaps we will become one of such tribes,” he said. His yellow eyes looked into Fen’s as they sat by each other. “I killed that man not only for disrespecting me but for disrespecting you and all of the women I have ever met.”

Fen looked away from him, she felt tears in her eyes and part of her wished she had never started the conversation. But part of her was glad. Even if she had known that she wasn’t useful in society before, it seemed to sink in that living with Shan Yu and his tribe would be better for her. She wouldn’t be told to be silent or be expected to have impeccable manners and tea pouring skills.

“I can actually have the life I want here, can’t I?” she asked, looking back to Shan Yu.
He nodded. “Yes. And you can marry whoever you like, I’m sure a lot of men would like a woman like you.”
Fen laughed, feeling awkward. All of this seemed to point in the direction of Shan Yu having some sort of feelings about her that wasn’t just keeping her alive because she had saved his life. Though, she doubted it had been that for a while. “It’s a very strange feeling.” And she still sort of wanted to cry, maybe it was all a bit overwhelming for her, the realisation of what she could do.

“This is… a lot,” she said after a few seconds of silence between them. “I think I should sleep. I never thought I was worth anything but now… I am more than property. Shan Yu nodded before wishing her a night of good sleep. Both of them lay down next to each other and not for the first time, she felt his arm wrap around her. She didn’t mind, even though warmth wasn’t really a concern for either of them.