38 | like a shipwreck lost at sea

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* inspired by florence + the machine's "shipwreck"

It always begins this way,
in haunting silences and dismay

my love for you - so ever abundant,
but for myself - never a moment.
You see, to love myself would
mean to accept the pitfuls of
my grace. The dance my eyelids
make when i sleep, is treacherous.

My limbs shake when i dance,
i look awkward when i cry. How
can i build
                      myself
                                     up

if i'm always breaking down?

and then I wonder, did i build
this ship to wreck? Do i crash
mercilessly into shores with
waves that are powerful but
my anger and isn't justified.

relentless anxieties swirl in
rock pools that never drain
completely.

did i build this ship to wreck?

are the very fundamentals of my
existence flawed, form the moment
i got my first stretch mark? or my first
freckle that formed and now serves
as a sign of prominence pertaining to
my lack of beauty?

The meek surrender but
the bleak just barely survive.

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