turning page ▶️ jongsang

◀fourteen▶

♬ eyes on fire - blue foundation ♬

「you'll be waiting in vain, i got nothing for you to gain.」

yeosang had slowly gone into a depressive state, seonghwa had adviced jongho to keep his distance for the meantime, the student didn't take it well as he tells his professor that he just needed to be in close approximation to him, didn't know why but he just had to be. 

hongjoong knew why jongho was acting that way but he doesn't tell him as it may overwhelm the student, seonghwa made sure to update him about how he is

it wasn't enough for jongho but he prevailed, if it was the way to make yeosang feel okay, he'll keep his distance for a couple of days, maybe even weeks.

and thus begins the string of nights where yeosang would just fill the house with screaming and crying, much to the couple's worry but they can't really do anything about it as yeosang would not talk

all he's ever done during the day was sit on the window sill as the day goes by, sometimes seonghwa would come in with food and he'd never tear his attention away from what he is writing. 

that was another thing, the couple got hold of the destroyed notebook from the incident where he'd gone missing but since it was soaked, there was no way of telling what it contained.

hongjoong had stopped getting inside his mind as he didn't want to be invasive over something obviously sensitive to yeosang, seonghwa felt useless as he feels that yeosang was beginning to reject the love he had shown to him.

however, by the 2 week mark, seonghwa couldn't take it anymore, hongjoong tailed behind him as he marched upstairs to yeosang's room, his wails bounced around the bedroom walls and he was writhing on the bed

to seonghwa it looked a lot like when hongjoong was turned, the way he was screaming and biting on to the pillow, grabbing whatever he can as something to put pressure on, some of the pillows were strewn on to the floor

he knows how painful it was, so he wonders what could be going on inside of yeosang's head to cause this

"sangie, sang, wake up," hongjoong sat near his head, cradling him onto his lap while seonghwa takes hold of his arms to avoid anymore damage to himself or the furniture

 "yeosang, enough." seonghwa's voice was firm as he slaps him awake, intervening the nightmare he was going through 

"you're okay baby, you're okay." the shorter vampire pushes the hair away from his eyes, cheeks going red at the realization that they'd come to his room again "yeosang, that's it." seonghwa pulls him up to a sitting position 

"w-what?" the half mortal stutters "you know we're here to help you, yeosang, so please, just let us in." seonghwa was still holding his hands, trying to ease him of the pain he had been feeling 

"it's not normal anymore, you've been isolating yourself, taking the blame for something that never even happened," yeosang falls back into hongjoong who was quick to wrap his arms over him 

"it's scaring the hell out of me and hongjoong and we just want to know what caused you to be like this." seonghwa continues, noticing how yeosang was avoiding his eyes as if he was scared of him and it broke seonghwa's heart because it was something he doesn't want to evoke in yeosang 

"what has caused you to be this damaged on the inside? you always doubt yourself when you're nothing but a sweetheart." it was hongjoong's turn to speak, yeosang was shaking in his arms, most likely still recovering from his nightmare.

"i'm a killer," yeosang mutters, just enough for them to hear "i may be part human but i know what i am." hongjoong hushes him, telling him that he's far from being a monster

he is yeosang, a little halfling who wouldn't hurt a fly, someone who was strong enough to fight the urge of feeding on someone who had such an alluring scent even though he was point blank away from the source, he's a sweetheart who thinks of others rather than himself.

"i was raised kill, my father wanted me this way, as some sort of weapon for his gain, he was a smart, careful with his tactics and he had me." the couple looks at each other as the words come out of yeosang's lips

was he about to tell them his upbringing? 

they'd take it, any kind of crumb, just so they can understand why he's the way he is, why his mood quickly shifts from being someone who's filled with sunshine to being someone as dark as the night sky 

"i've killed people before and trying to stray away from that lifestyle isn't going to change the fact that i've got countless of deaths in my hands." 

yeosang looks down at the scar that had formed on his wrist from when he restrained himself from attacking, not only jongho but also san as both of them had the same effect on him but as of now, jongho had a stronger presence, much more than san used to have when he was human.

even if he'd learned to control his thirst upon meeting san all those years ago, there were moments where he'd let his fangs dig into his skin just so he wouldn't hurt him, even with just kissing san, he had to be extra careful not to let his vampiric side jump out.

apart of him was scared that it will happen again with jongho, as the human was making his heart race even more than the speed it was pumping, it was like deja vu.

"you were manipulated into thinking that it was the only way to live sangie, your father had made you into his puppet, he controlled you for so long and i have an inkling your upbringing was brutal," yeosang finally faced seonghwa, who despite his firm tone, held a soft expression and he cups his face 

"you didn't know there was another way sangie but now, you have us as your pillars, you'll never have to be that again." 

yeosang ended up crying again, but it wasn't out of sadness nor self-deprecation, but it was the overwhelming feeling of the couple being so patient with him, he knows he's somewhat difficult and an obstruction to their normal routines but they still took the time to tend to him

it has been a long 2 weeks, with all the screaming, the tears being shed, the isolation.

but they never gave up on him because they knew all yeosang needed at the time was the knowledge that despite him trying to shut them out

they are still persisting to reach out and the half mortal will forever be grateful for them, now even more as he revealed some parts of his dark life yet they still choose to stand by him. 

when he comes to a clear mindset, he promises to himself that not only will he fix his relationship with them but also his relationship with jongho, who hasn't missed a day in terms of asking about his condition.

[a/n: it's a little short but i've been having some writer's block, pls don't be shy in terms of leaving comments, i like reading and responding to them ٩(^▿^)۶]