Why We Broke Up || YeonBin

Letter #7

Have you been well, Yeonjun hyung?

Please say that you're doing just fine because I think I'm going to hate myself more than I already do if you aren't.

Tell me you aren't crying because of me and that you're feeling happy these days because I don't want to picture you falling apart like I pathetically am.

Tell me that you aren't greatly affected by my absence and that you can push through even when I'm not there beside you.

Tell me you're in a better state than I am, Yeon-ah.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I think I'm close into losing my mind having to think of how you're doing and not being able to do anything to ensure you're alright.

I know it's my fault. I'm the one to blame for all of this so I do not have the right to complain but—

Yeonjun it hurts.

It hurts so much to fall asleep at night without hearing your voice.

It feels like a part of me keeps on dying every morning when I open my eyes and the first thought that I would have is the fact that I had to let you go.

I'm forcing myself to go through every day and not have a single glimpse of you when I'm used to seeing your face smiling right at me.

I miss you so fucking much, Yeonjun hyung.

So much because all I ever want to do is show up at your doorstep unannounced just to see the look of surprise on your face.

I want to hold you in my arms again like we usually do when we watch whatever drama was that playing in the TV.

I want to touch you again— in any way, just so I could feel that you're there beside me and that you'll never go anywhere.

But it was me who went away.

And now I have to deal with every piece of me craving to run back to you.

I miss you just as much as I love you.

......I hope I can tell you that.