Why We Broke Up || YeonBin

Epilogue

~~~

just smile and wave

~~~

It's when Yeonjun lies awake on his bed in the middle of the night that the situation finally sinks in. He stares up at the white ceiling, observing the little paint coming off around the corner because it's been a while since it was last painted— at least, according to his landlord, or it could just be because of the poor job of whoever painted that. Yeonjun doesn't even know why he's thinking about it. Probably it's the desperate attempt of his brain trying to distract him from overthinking his reunion with Soobin.

He's nervous about it, of course. He won't deny that. There is this fear that something might not go their way or maybe he's just being so apprehensive because it's been more than a year since he last saw Soobin and he has no idea how he should act when he sees the male again. He wonders if he would feel a distance. Wonders if he would feel the time that passed by them he could almost touch it with his fingers. He worries if there would be a noticeable gap, if they would have to walk on egg shells and dance around each other in an attempt to reach out. He thinks about it all. Lets himself dwell on it despite the apprehension it brings because at least, that means that it's really happening. And his worries exist because it's real, he's not dreaming and he's so close to having it all again. So close to having his missing part back. So close to being with Soobin again.

But still, Yeonjun couldn't help but feel the hope blooming inside his chest that whispers it's going to be okay. It comforts him with the faith that even when he and Soobin have been apart for quite a while, nothing changes. That it's still the same person, the same warmth, the same love. It's still going to be the Soobin he knows, the Soobin whose habits he has memorized. The Soobin he cherishes with his whole heart, the one who touches him with the gentlest hands and looks at him with the sincerest eyes. It's still going to be Soobin who laughs with him, who cries with him, who offers him comfort when he doesn't even know he needs it. The one who has the ability to turn things around when it feels like the world's out to get him. The person who smiles in between their kisses and embraces him really tight. The Soobin he's in love with. So there's nothing Yeonjun really has to be worried about.

Yeonjun really hopes that's the case.

He tosses around on his left, mentally crossing off his checklist for about the 10th time after he's done packing. Even the letters he plans to give his family and friends are already done. He wrote it just before he went to bed, deciding that leaving them a letter behind would be better because then, they won't be able to object to his plan. He doesn't want to text them too, saying that he'll go missing until further notice because that would be so out of the blue and he doesn't want to shock them. So, settling with letters would be a safer choice. Plus, it is less nerve-wracking knowing that he'll probably be gone for days already before they even find it in his apartment.

And yeah, Yeonjun feels a little guilty for this impulsive decision too but, it's for Soobin. And anything that involves Soobin hasn't really been that hard to think over when it comes to Yeonjun. He's always going to be the first choice and it might sound really dumb but that's just how it's always been. Yeonjun loves Soobin that much.

With that thought echoing in his mind, Yeonjun finds himself drifting off to sleep.

~~~

It's a quarter to 8pm when Yeonjun arrives at the location Soobin sent him.