Twisted

Chapter Thirty-One: Desperation

Chapter Thirty-One: Desperation
Josh' POV
*edited*

"Josh? What's wrong are you alright?" I heard my mom knock on my bedroom door as I wallowed In my sorrows.

I never deserved Callum, I knew I didn't. And my head throbbed imagining what he's probably enduring right now.

I shouldn't have let him leave. I should've told him I wasn't getting out of the car until he came with me and we went inside together.

God it fucking hurt to imagine how Callum felt. How wronged he felt. Whenever I imagined him my eyes would water with tears, because I knew that things would never go down smoothly in his household.

Callum was going to get hurt but this time he'd have nothing... he wouldn't even have me.

I didn't answer but I knew my mom was still at the door thanks to the shadow under the frame.

She just stood there and I curled into a ball under my blanket, my chest constricting.

"Jo–"

"Mama." I said shakily, getting up and opening the door, "I don't know what to do..."

~~~

Callum's POV

My body ached, every single bone in from my fists to my toes hurt. It hurt so badly.

And I was crying.

I think a part of me knew for awhile I liked Josh. When I figured out that I liked guys and girls, it clicked in a way that I liked Josh.

But I didn't want to believe it because out of everything in my life I've fucked up, ruined or completely lost every part of me didn't want that to be Josh.

I was mad. I was mad because I was running away from my problems to think like I always did instead of facing it.

I wasn't struggling with my sexuality, I wasn't even struggling with the fact that CPS was doing fiddle shit about my parents situation when every fiber of their being screamed child neglect.

I was struggling with the fact that I was letting everything unravel so quickly and in return where was thag leaving me?

Night are full of nightmares, or shouting and yelling and loud noises. Days are full of Josh and if I got kicked out... or if I told Josh that I liked him...

I'd lose both.

I think the realization that I'd rather suffer throughout the rest of my life than to change normality, was enough to shock me to my core.

When I saw Josh after his shower, talking down on himself in my clothes. I knew that I wouldn't be able to sit there and pretend I wasn't in love with him.

Because I was. I loved Josh.

I full heartedly love Josh.

I was going 75 in a 35 back, dirt road when my phone went off.

I slowed to a stop, grabbed my phone and put it to my ear. "What do you want?" I asked meekly.