It's been one day since I found out my about my miscarriage, I already did the procedure and got my baby out of my stomach.
Even though it was extremely, extremely tiny, Roddy and I said our goodbyes to our baby. It was very emotional, I sighed laying in the hospital bed.
The doctors recommended I stay in the hospital for four days to recover physically.
Roddy has stayed with me the whole time, very supportive. I've just been so depressed.
Roddy walked back in the hospital room with Camilla and Lucas, and they had bags of food.
"Hey bestie.. How you holding up?" Camilla asked.
"I'll be alright, thank you." I said.
Roddy pulled out my bag of food and it was a big hamburger and a large fry with a drink.
"I'm not hungry.." I said turning away from them, laying on my side.
"Baby I know you're sad, I am too.. But you gotta eat. Come on, sit up." Roddy said. One tear fell out my eye, as I sat up wiping it quickly.
He handed me my food, and I started eating.
"Everything is gone be aight, I promise." Lucas said rubbing my back.
"I just feel like it's my fault." I said.
"It's not, our baby wasn't breathing well baby you couldn't control that. Stop blaming yourself" Roddy said holding me tightly and I put my food down on the little tray next to me.
"I really don't wanna eat right now." I said.
"Alright but you gotta eat it later." Roddy said. I nodded my head laying back down.
"We're gonna give you guys some alone time.. Come on baby." Camilla said to Lucas holding her hand out and he grabbed it as they walked out.
As Roddy sat next to me I asked him "How are you so strong?"
"I gotta stay strong for you. I'm always here for you baby, I need you to stop stressing and stop blaming yourself." He said scooting closer to me.
"It's not fair babe, it's not fair" I said beginning to cry for the 100th time.
I started bawling and he held me tight as I cried on his chest.
"It's my fault" I cried.
"No it's not! Stop saying that!" He said hugging me, gently rubbing my back.
"It's not right.." I said.
"Shh it's okay baby" He said, I seen one tear fell out of his face.
"You don't need to be strong okay? I'll be strong for you, I got you baby. I love you so much, our baby may not be here physically but our baby is here spiritually." Roddy said.
I dried my tears, trying to lighten up from what he said because he's right.
"You're right.." I said.
"I got you mami.. I'll be here to comfort you, okay?" He said grabbing my chin.
"Thank you." I said caressing the side of his face.
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