A life changing trip - wroetoshaw/Miniminter

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

I look up from the ground
To see your sad and teary eyes
You look away from me
And I see there's something you're tryna hide
And I reach for your hand but it's cold
You pull away again
And I wonder what's on your mind
And then you say to me you made a dumb mistake
You start to tremble and your voice begins to break
You say the cigarettes on the counter weren't your friend's
They were my mate's
And I feel the color draining from my face
And my friend said
"I know you love her, but it's over, mate
It doesn't matter, put the phone away
It's never easy to walk away, let her go
It'll be alright"

The lyrics seemed to repeat for days, sometimes loud sometimes quiet. Even when Simon put his headphones the lyrics would repeat in jjs head. He'd heard the song so much he could recite it by memory.

Simon had been miserable for days. Laying in bed in the same clothes, takeaway boxes pushed to the floor, stubble spread across his face. He looked tired doing nothing at all. The only time he left his room was to open the door for the takeaway. It was the only way JJ knew he was still breathing.

After 3 days JJ tried to push the limits, actually entering simons room and attempting to get him up.

"Simon." He began, to no response. "You've got to get up, we've got things we need to do." JJ pushed.

"Simon what about filming?" This seemed to trigger Simon as he quickly turned over to face JJ.

"Filming? With Harry? You've got to be joking." Simon spat.

"You two should talk." JJ tried to sympathise.

"Have you spoken to him?" Simon looked angry, waiting for the answer.

"Yeah I have."

"So what? You're on his side?"

"I'm not on anyone's side. It's a mess all of it. But I understand that he's struggled just as much as you have. Both in different ways. I'm not defending anyone. I can see it from everyone's side. But you three need to settle it now."

"It's easier said than done. I don't want to be angry but whenever I think about it I just want to lash out or cry."

"I think a good start would be to turn off this song, move on from the heartbreak and start trying to forgive them."

"How?"

"Talk to them."

After a few days of sulking from Simon and panic from everyone else. There was communication. Harry was going to travel to their flat and talk to Simon alone. Simon couldn't bare to see chloe again to which she knew was the best outcome.

As the day arrived Harry pulled on his usual clothes, slipping on anything that was clean. Rushing out his house, anxious to get this conversation over and done with. Within 30 minutes of London travel, Harry found himself standing outside their building. Buzzing himself in and making his way upstairs to their floor.

Harry knocked on the door and awaited the answer, his hands sweaty in the process.

After a short wait the door opened to reveal a tired looking Simon, not overly drained, just enough to notice.

"Come in." Simon welcomed in a dim tone.

"Thanks." Harry muttered as he walked in and rubbed his shoes on the welcome mat.

"JJ is out so it's just me and you."

"Every minishaws dream." Harry tried to make a joke, Simon replied in a sarcastic huff of amusement.

They settled on the sofa and sat in a awkward silence as neither knew where to start.

"So." Harry started.

"Yep. We're here again." He sighed. Momentarily placing his head in his hands before running his fingers down his face, dragging his skin and then letting go. Shrugging off the awkwardness as he ran his hands quickly though his hair.

"You know this isn't to hurt you?" Harry asked quietly.

"I know you wouldn't do this to hurt me. But it does."

"I thought it would, but I'm at a crossroads."

"And what's that?"

"If I do it I hurt you. If I don't I hurt me."

"As a friend is that really a decision?" Simon asked.

"But as a friend is that a decision for you?"

"What do you mean?" Simon asked calmly, hiding the anger.

"Well you're insinuating as your friend I should deal with the hurt to avoid hurting you. Why can't you do that for me?" Harry asked, making a valid point. "Why can't you hurt from this so I can be happy, especially since everyone is so happy for me to hurt so life is more convenient for them."

"Because Harry you're missing the big point. Chloe was my girlfriend. You kissed my girlfriend. No one is suffering for no reason. The reason I'm upset is because my girlfriend cheated on me with you. And now what? You're friends, together?"

"I don't know how long I can keep apologising for that. I'm so sorry, and I will be for the rest of my life that I went about it like that, and in the process betrayed you. But I can't act like it's all my fault when we both know chloe still had feelings for me. Everyone always misses that part out. The fact that me and Chloe were together for a while and the sacrifice I made for you."

"Well there was no point making that choice when you were only going to go and fuck things up between me and her."

"Do you really think I planned that? Have we not passed this?" Harry said shocked.

"I don't know. It's all been dragged up."

"I know and I'm sorry." Harry said seeing a glimpse of acceptance in simons facial expression. "But I won't make the same mistake as last time. I won't sacrifice what I could potentially have over someone else."

"So you're basically saying I don't care how you feel I'm doing this." Simon said wide eyed.

"Not quite in those words but yes."

"Wow." Simon said leaning forwards.

"I can't describe it Simon. There's something between me and Chloe that I can't give up. For the small chance it goes somewhere I have to risk it."

"No matter who you hurt?" Simon asked.

"I just hope me and you can figure a way past this." Harry mumbled.

"Well...I don't think we can." Simon muttered as he looked at the floor, he didn't feel sad anymore. He felt nothing, his feelings in shock to the new revelation of losing one of his best friends.

Harry knew what he meant and took the hint. Without saying another word he slowly raised from the sofa and taking a couple of steps away, looking at Simon to give him a chance to say something. But Simons eyes remained on his shoes as he refused to look up.

It wasn't long before Simon heard the door close, allowing him to look up.

"Fuck sake."