Far From My Home [COMPLETE]

Chapter 7: Unsteady

Y/N's POV

"Y/N," my dad pauses and I don't know whether it's to find the words or avoid them. "I didn't want to tell you like this, but you have a right to know what's going on."

"It's Mom, isn't it?"

Pause. 

"It's about all of us, Bug," I'll take that as a yes. They did it, didn't they?

They made the split official.

"When?" I gulp, closing my eyes, both so I don't have to look at him, and to avoid the inevitable tears for as long as possible.

He doesn't respond. Typical. 

"Dad, when did it happen?"

"Four years ago," he whispers at first, then clears his throat and speaks louder, almost to convince both of us that he's over it. "We divorced four years ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" My voice turns colder than I intended it to be. I don't know why I'm taking it out on him; I just know he still loves her.

"You were so happy, Bug. I didn't want to ruin that for you."

Oh, don't even start about my happiness.

"I'd be happy if Mom was still here! Why'd you let her go?" I stand up and yell at him. 

"Because Bug," his voice drops again. "When you love someone, you have to know when to let them go."

You're preaching to the choir…

And just like that the tears came and I was most certainly not going to let anyone comfort me. I turn on my heel and storm out the door to the place where I know that no one will bother me. 

Sticking my earbuds in, I push open the door to the rooftop, doing my best to drown out the memories that come back to me. 

Shaking things up a bit, I turn on shuffle.

Yeah, always a bad idea.

So what do I do? I sit against the brick wall, hot my knees into my chest, and sob my heart out while listening to Unsteady by X Ambassadors.

Hold, hold on, hold on to me.

Cuz I'm a little unsteady…

Hold, hold on, hold on to me.

Cuz I'm a little unsteady…

Mama, come here

Approach, appear

Daddy, I'm alone

Cuz this house don't feel like home.

If you love me, don't let go…

Hold, hold on, hold on to me

Cuz I'm a little unsteady, a little unsteady…

Hold, hold on, hold on to me.

Cuz I'm a little unsteady…

Mother, I know that you're tired of being alone

Dad, I know you're trying to fight when you feel like flying

But if you love me, don't let go...

Hold, hold on, hold on to me

Cuz I'm a little unsteady…

Hold, hold on, hold on to me.

Cuz I'm a little unsteady…

Hold, hold on, hold onto me

Cuz I'm a little unsteady, a little unsteady

~Time Skip~

Y/N: hey, can i spend the night at your place?

I decided that I wasn't going back to my place tonight. I spent the weekend away, what's one more night? And if MJ's busy, I'll just ask Harry again. I doubt he'd say no. He's seriously too good for this world.

MJ: yeah, ofc, u want me to pick u up?

Y/N: it's ok, I'll take the subway

MJ: k, you owe me first hand explanations tho

Y/N: figured as much. C u in a bit

MJ: c u 

I set my phone down beside me and open up my backpack to examine my "supplies". I still had an extra pair of clothes from the bag Ethan had packed for me from this past weekend. Deciding that what I had would have to do, I wipe my tears and dust myself off. Heading down the stairs to the lobby of our apartment building, I switch to my Adele playlist, turning up the volume, embracing my feelings for once.

I've cried so many tears, too many times, I legitimately don't think I have any left.

Getting on the subway, ignoring my surroundings, I let the sounds of Melt My Heart to Stone fill my ears, and finally accept everything I've been denying.

Sup y'all! I updated on time! I know, lol, I'm surprised too.

I also know that this chapter is not that great, but the next chapter is when the good stuff starts ;) (as opposed to the past 7 TOTALLY uneventful chapters…)

Anyway, we'll kind of be moving on from this episode of Y/N's Depression Sessions, so stay tuned!

As always, thank you for continuing to support this book, and feel free to reach out to me at any time about anything! I love you guys 3000 <3

P.S. Vote and comment ;) it really means the WORLD to me 💛