NoWhere Boy:A John Lennon love story

Do You Want To Know A Secret?

"Jacqui won't sleep, I swear she is as stubborn as mum!" Jules said as Jacqui ran into my arms crying. I picked her up quickly and whipped my own tears. "Why were you crying?" Jules asked quietly, she hadn't seen me cry before, "Is it mum?"

I shook my head "No hun, it isn't mum." I said as I squeezed Jacs and pet Jules head.

"We're you thinking about your family?"

I froze. I knew John could hear. I didn't want to tell him this part at all. "No honey, you guys are my family, you don't make me cry."

"Cam, mum won't tell me, I'm old enough, but I want to know!" She started to shake as if she were to cry as well.

I sighed in defeat, "Let's go to your room loves." I said taking Jules hand and still carrying Jacqui. We walked down the stairs and into their shared room. Jules hopped into her bed and I set Jacs in her's. I tucked her in and she rolled to face us, I sat on Jules bed.

"You know, you picked a terrible night for this one kid, but we don't lie in this family okay?" I began, "About twelve years ago, mum found me alone in an alley behind a garbage can. I was like a lost puppy! No clue how I got there but I was asking for my mother. The only thing I really knew was that I was five, my first name was Camille, and that my middle name was Prudence, I was very insistent on that." I said causing Jacs to giggle. "Mum took me in and searched for a little over a year before she finally decided that I was now hers to keep. Now dad, I call him Bobby sometimes because that's his name and I have known him as long as I've known you girls. I was seven when you were born Jules, and I was nine when Jacs was and I could not have asked for a a better gift than you three. So no, I'm not your sister by blood, but no matter what I am here for you my loves."

Jules hugged me tight, and I tucked her in, I kissed both her and Jacs on the head and began to walk out. I saw John on the stairs staring at me, he had no expression except his eyebrows hung down a bit.

"Cam!" Jacs voice peeped from the room.

"Yes sweet pea?" I forced myself to turn from Johns drawing eyes.

"Can you sing tonight?" My face softened.

"You haven't asked me to do that in a while." I smiled at her. I sat on Jacqui's bed but I could see Julia was listening.

"Goodnight, my someone,
Goodnight, my love,
Sleep tight, my someone,
Sleep tight, my love,
Our star is shining it's brightest light
For goodnight, my love, for goodnight.
Sweet dreams be yours, dear,
If dreams there be
Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.
I wish they may and I wish they might
Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight
True love can be whispered from heart to heart
When lovers are parted they say
But I must depend on a wish and a star
As long as my heart doesn't know who you are.
Sweet dreams be yours dear,
If dreams there be
Sweet dreams to carry you close to me.
I wish they may and I wish they might
Now goodnight, my someone, goodnight.
Goodnight,
Goodnight."

I slowly walked from the room, closing the door. They were both sound asleep. I turned to find John on the stairs exactly how I left him. I looked at the floor as I walked up the stairs past him into my room, he followed in suit. As soon as we reached my room he closed the door behind us locking it and I turned to him, "I told you to sta-" he quickly pulled me into a hug. He held me so tightly, I don't know what I was expecting, why would he be mad? Why did I think that he would be?

"Why would you never tell me that?" He asked into my hair, "you were dealing with this all alone?" I pulled back and he looked like I just shot him. I thought of the dream.

"It's no ones problem but my own, no one else completely understands. It's best not to confuse people, mostly mum, I think sometimes she forgets she didn't have me, and the day she found me was a very bad day for her so I don't speak of it. I spend all my nights wondering why my real parents never loved me. I sit and write stupid songs to pour my heart out in but no one will ever hear them. I can't even tell you them because I don't want you to break! Damn it John why did you come here tonight!?" I replied, tears still pouring down my cheeks, I couldn't seem to stop the flow of them.

"I'm not allowed to miss you now? Maybe I was worried about ya! Thunder make your anxiety act up!"

"John it's just too much you can't understand."

"I can understand, It's my problem too. I don't even know who my father is, not a word of him ever from Mimi. Oh, and don't get me started on my great mum! What a load of rubbish that is! Never in my life has she ever came to me with anything. I'll see her out and about but never once has she taken the time to see me. Mimi barely gives me any affection. She's got a stick up her arse all the time! I should've had a mother to hold me and comfort me and just love me, and I never did!" He started to cry, John was crying right in front of me. I didn't like this and I didn't know what to do. "Everyone always looks down on me, the school says I'm a loser and I'll never accomplish anything, Mimi acts like I'm not good enough, and me own mum and dad didn't even want me. So don't for a second think I'm not here for you during this because I know damn well what you are going through!"

I quickly pulled him into bed with me, I wrapped the blanket around us and I held him close. I put his head on my chest and I ran my fingers through his hair. "Let it all out, it's gonna be okay," I said through both of our sobs. "John?"

"What?" He choked.

"How dare you?" I breathed out.

He propped himself up over me to look at me, "What?" He looked like he was building up his wall again.

"How could you just say no one loves you? How could you forget about me like that? I let you sneak into my window, I go against my parents trust and go out to see you, I hide my whole life from you for your own safety of mind, for what? Not love? Well news flash, I'm here! I'm holding you, I'm giving you affection, I think you are perfect and amazing! I think you are going to change the world! I'm sitting here loving you John Lennon! I love you!" I cried.

Before either of us could even think about what had happened John pressed his lips against mine. I froze. He pulled away and we stared at each other. He quickly came back down and kissed me again, this time I wrapped my arms around his neck. I had never kissed anyone before and I never pictured John would be my first. His lips moved with mine in almost perfect unison. I didn't know what to do so I followed his lead.

He slowly pulled away and laid himself next to me. We stared at each other the whole time.

"Cam," he said stroking my hair while I nuzzled against him. "What do we do know?" I knew exactly what he meant. Truth was I had no clue. We could avoid it after tonight, but I didn't want to. My heart was racing in my chest and I felt as if it were to burst at any moment.

"John, that was my first kiss, please don't make me forget it." I listened to the sound of his heart.

"Fuck, I ruined your first kiss didn't I." He sounded slightly angry, but he made no effort to pull away.

"No, not at all." I replied, "I wouldn't have it any other way, I'm glad it was you."

"Why's that?"

"I feel safe with you."

He brought my chin up and pressed his lips against mine again. I smiled at him and closed my eyes, leaving one hand holding his cheek.

"Goodnight Winston."

"Goodnight Prudence"